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	<title>A Bridge To You &#187; Self Empowerment</title>
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	<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au</link>
	<description>Discover.Love.Be.</description>
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		<title>What if ?</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/11/what-if/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/11/what-if/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Nov 2014 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Discover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Be]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feminine energy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=326</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What if life does not have to be as it is currently dictated? What if we could choose a different way? What if the societal constructs that run much of the world could be rear ended and  new... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/11/what-if/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What if life does not have to be as it is currently dictated?</p>
<p>What if we could choose a different way?</p>
<p>What if the societal constructs that run much of the world could be rear ended and  new models and expectations built in their place?</p>
<p>What if there was so much more?</p>
<p>What if women could be seen in other ways – past their role as appendages to men,  sexual objects for the gratification of men and nurturers to all?</p>
<p>What if it was once a different way?</p>
<p>What if?</p>
<p>And this brings me to a wonderful book by Shirley MacLaine, that certainly poses a lot of interesting questions. The book is entitled simply: WHAT IF…</p>
<p>Today I would just like to share with you the final few paragraphs on Page 52</p>
<p>How you react to these words is fodder for your own consideration and I will not be giving my opinions here, as I feel the value in this small excerpt, as it rests in the context of this page of writing, is for you to examine your own personal response to the words.</p>
<p>No doubt your marital status and experience thereof will impact upon your mulling over of these words.</p>
<p>I found them quite thought provoking and as you can tell from my introduction they set me off on quite a few tangents of enquiry. My hope is that these word take you to your own place of self reflection and self discovery-  untainted by my own personal journey through these words.<span id="more-326"></span></p>
<p>So now – over to the incredible Shirley MacLaine:</p>
<p><em>“ After my husband and I split, I made it a point to dodge the marriage bullet. From then on, I had loving sex without commitment. I loved to work hard, and feel I have earned all I have, which is enough for the rest of my life. But mostly I am content. Content with my surroundings, my friends, my family (whom I see when I want to), and my life.</em></p>
<p><em>Many women friends of my age are finding exquisite happiness on their own. None of us feels alone. On the contrary, we feel free and creative to be who we are. We often have celebratory lunches (too hard to find a parking place at dinner), reveling in our freedom of aloneness.</em></p>
<p><em>Wake Up, women of the world! You have earned the right to be free of taking care of others. Perhaps it isn’t even your nature. Perhaps you are the true warriors of peace.”</em></p>
<p>As is always the case when I present someone else’s words for reflection, I invite you to go back and read the passage a few more times.</p>
<p>Let it sit with you.</p>
<p>Let it quietly roll about in your mind and consciousness.</p>
<p>Let it guide you to where you need to be – for You.</p>
<p>Discover You.</p>
<p>Love You.</p>
<p>Be You.</p>
<p>- Christine -</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Moving forward, in a holding pattern or going backwards?</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/moving-forward-in-a-holding-pattern-or-going-back/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/moving-forward-in-a-holding-pattern-or-going-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Discover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[delays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[determination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[impatience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inner critic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inner dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Moving Forward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Discovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuck in a rut]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subconscious programming]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tenacity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=309</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[No matter how young or how old we are. No matter how experienced or inexperienced we feel we are in the Game of Life. No matter how shy or seemingly confident we appear to the outside world, we... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/moving-forward-in-a-holding-pattern-or-going-back/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>No matter how young or how old we are. No matter how experienced or inexperienced we feel we are in the Game of Life. No matter how shy or seemingly confident we appear to the outside world, we all have inner dialogues and conversations that tend to inform who we are, how we behave and how we see the world at large. These same dialogues, are often what drive us forward, keep us in a bizarre sort of holding pattern, frozen in time, or hold us back from accomplishing what we are capable of on our life’s journey.</p>
<p>For the past decade, these motivations and inner dialogues are what have held my fascination, and through much soul searching via dozens of seminars, oodles of books and a good degree of spiritual seeking, I one day stumbled upon a memory. A memory that I quickly realized had been the mainstay of my existence till then – pushing me this way, and shoving me that way………most often back to where I felt I belonged!</p>
<p>This memory was based around one little comment. It was a simple comment made by a rather unaware dinner guest when I was a child – but it was a comment that had stuck with me for decades – buried within the depths of my mind, influencing my decisions and causing havoc quite unbeknownst to me. As I listened-in to the adult’s dinner conversation from the children’s play area upstairs in our house, I heard this one seemingly innocuous comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy – she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”!</p>
<p>Do I remember my parent’s reaction to this comment – no! Do I remember all the compliments and encouragement I no doubtedly received as a child – no!  All I remembered was this one defining commentary on my abilities – that related not only to my now &#8211;  but also to my future.</p>
<p>And the prognosis was not good.</p>
<p><span id="more-309"></span></p>
<p>In hind sight I can see that this comment was only referring to my somewhat average performance as a classical ballet student. It was in no way a reflection on my abilities in other areas at all. But to a little girl who dreamed of one day being a classical ballet dancer and idolised Baryshnikov. To a little girl who’s best friend was a stunning classical ballerina and destined for the stage. To a little girl whose mother was the Principal of the dancing school where she studied and an avid classical ballet fan – it was like a lightning bolt.</p>
<p>I mean – it is a pretty prophetic comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy, she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”</p>
<p>KABOOM!!</p>
<p>&#8220;Hit me where it really hurts why don’t you.&#8221;</p>
<p>That little prediction was suddenly quarterized into every cell of my brain. Imprinted in vivid technicolour and ready to offer it’s opinion of my worth, in any and all future endeavours.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until years later in a counseling session that this little memory resurfaced  &#8211; but the emotion that came with it was certainly punching way above its weight! The sense of wonder I felt at discovering what had been holding me back for so long and making me feel so inadequate all the time was incredible. It was like – wow!</p>
<p>Feelings are my go to reference these days, to determine if something is of genuine “value” to me. That is – if I have a really strong emotional reaction to something, then I know it is something for me to look at carefully. What is it triggering the reaction and why? What is there to be learned here. And if there are tears &#8211; lots of tears – I know it&#8217;s a doozy! Something that needs addressing and to be redirected along with any other non useful mail.</p>
<p>I started right then and there to &#8220;actively de-activate &#8220;this message and it&#8217;s lingering shadow in my subconscious. I put post-its [for which I am famous ha ha] all around my house saying: Little Chrissy can do anything she wants. Little Chrissy can be anything she wants. Little Chrissy is just fabulous as she is.</p>
<p>They were on my bedroom door. They were in my bathroom. They were anywhere I knew I would see them each and every day. I said it over and over and over every night before going to sleep and every morning before I got out of bed. And I began to feel a little more confident.</p>
<p>Little Chrissy was on the move.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, when I mentioned this memory to my family, no-one else had any recollection of it at all. Not even my Mother who would have been at the dining table the evening of the incident.</p>
<p>And this brings me to my point here.</p>
<p>We can all have very different memories of the same event. We all live our lives “in our heads”. We live in our perceptions of events – not actually in the event itself. And so we store memories in a way that is particular to us and our unique sensitivities.</p>
<p>Someone else at that same dinner no doubt stored the memory of a delightful lamb roast. And another guest perhaps stored the memory of a great after dinner conversation. And another may have stored the memory of the delightful grandfather&#8217;s whiskers hanging on the plants outside. But not Poor Little Chrissy – no &#8211;  she stored a whole lot of torment and pain that would lead to years of never giving anything a fair go for fear of “never being any good”.</p>
<p>Once I recognized this little story living up a storm in my subconscious, I could actively “de-activate” its message and take control. I turned the message upside down and used it to empower my life rather than disempower.</p>
<p>At this stage, I had been a specialist tap dance teacher in Sydney, Australia for over 25 years, so I took the proverbial “bull by the horns” , put pen to paper  and devised my very own tap syllabus Tapatak Oz. This syllabus launched in 2008 and is now in use all over Australia and overseas, with examinations and teacher accreditation held annually.</p>
<p>Poor Little Chrissy – she could do something after all. Who knew?</p>
<p>I do not tell this story to grandstand and tell you all about my prior achievements. But I tell it for one very important reason.</p>
<p>To encourage you all to look inside yourselves and find those moments in your own lives that may be hiding these secret triggers. Moments that may be affecting you in such a way. Mundane little comments here and there that have stuck with you and caused you to doubt yourself or sabotage your success over the years.</p>
<p>Now is the time to find what was said. Turn it to your advantage. And move forward.</p>
<p>Many old sayings are so very true and repeated for a reason</p>
<p>“ What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”</p>
<p>“ It’s not what happens to us in life that defines us – but how we react to it”</p>
<p>“ It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog”</p>
<p>So I invite you to take a look.</p>
<p>Find these little triggers and stories in your history.</p>
<p>Acknowledge them. Turn them around and send them straight out the door.</p>
<p>You can choose what ideas of self you hold on to.</p>
<p>You can choose what is valid in your life.</p>
<p>And you can choose what to let go of so you can move forward to where you want to be.</p>
<p>If Poor Little Chrissy can do it then you can too. That is what I know.</p>
<p>So &#8211; I hope you have found some comfort in my little story and that it has inspired you to take charge of your own triggers and put them to work inspiring you to your greatness!</p>
<p>We all have greatness within.</p>
<p>You just have to believe in it. See it. And then release it out into the world.</p>
<p>Discover You! Love You! Be You!</p>
<p>Live your Truth.</p>
<p><strong>Christine</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Prospecting for Possibility</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/prospecting-for-possibility/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/prospecting-for-possibility/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Oct 2014 11:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Discover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[possibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Law of Attraction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=316</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes the world can get you down and things can seem overwhelming. We have all experienced times like this and once again it can be easier to just give up and collapse in a heap, than to move... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/prospecting-for-possibility/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sometimes the world can get you down and things can seem overwhelming. We have all experienced times like this and once again it can be easier to just give up and collapse in a heap, than to move productively through these times.</p>
<p>Sometimes it just seems easier to whinge and wallow. But is this really helping the situation? Perhaps not?</p>
<p>The molehill does not always have to turn into a mountain.</p>
<p>Infact – nothing in insurmountable. Nothing is a problem. Just a different pathway to where you are going. A little less comfortable perhaps. A less familiar path. But why not just “live on the edge “ a little?</p>
<p>Be happy to explore new things. New possibilities. Not for any reason – just because you can. So your life has gone a little off course. Perhaps it was meant to – and when you look back and see the bigger picture you will be happy that you turned off the road when you did.</p>
<p>Perhaps the reward is in the doing. Perhaps the reward will be in the trusting.</p>
<p>Just because.</p>
<p>At these times of challenge, stay alert to all the goodness in the world. Switch off to the negative, because you just do not need it.</p>
<p>Glow. Glitter. Radiate your knowing and trust, that everything will be OK out into the Universe.</p>
<p>Be open to the possibilities.</p>
<p>What possibilities?<span id="more-316"></span></p>
<p>Do not bother yourself with such details all the time – as when the time is right all will be revealed to you. When the time is right the possibility will arrive at your doorstep in a blaze of glory, like a knight in shining armour, beckoning you forth to a brand new space, a brand new day, a brand new you and will provide you with all the guidance you need to embrace this new time, this new experience, this new moment.</p>
<p>You just need to trust and to surrender to it.</p>
<p>Contemplation can be a wonderful thing – but nothing beats just getting out there and doing it. But don’t get ahead of yourself and bog yourself down with superfluous questions. They will bog you down like quicksand.</p>
<p>Rise above your questions and let the reality of existence show you in real terms the path that is yours. Be true and honest and nothing can stand in your way.</p>
<p>Light the path.</p>
<p>Water the seed.</p>
<p>Follow the yellow brick road.</p>
<p>Know that if you are doing something, that it is your Destiny and You are learning something invaluable from it.</p>
<p>Learn the Lesson.</p>
<p>Embrace the Light.</p>
<p>Love the Process.</p>
<p>Look for no reward.</p>
<p>The reward is the process.</p>
<p>Try the new and the unexpected.</p>
<p>Dare to fail.</p>
<p>Dare to not care what others think.</p>
<p>Dare to simply be.</p>
<p>No reasons. No excuses. No explanations. No need.</p>
<p>Just Be.</p>
<p>This is the key to a joyful experience on the planet. A place that abounds with exotic, wild, joyous, intoxicating and humbling experiences.</p>
<p>So next time your world seems to not be going to plan, take a step back. Take a deep breath and trust that all will be OK. Be open to other possibilities that you may not have considered before. Take action to rectify the situation – but remain open and flexible to things you may not have considered before.</p>
<p>I am sure we can all agree that hindsight is a wonderful thing. So think back to another occasion in your life when everything went “pear shaped” but yet years on you realized that it was the best thing that could ever have happened to you. This is so very often the case and we can sometimes look back and think “ I can&#8217;t believe how upset I was over that when in fact it turned out to be he best thing that ever happened to me”.</p>
<p>I can think of at least four occasions in my own life, when I felt truly devastated by the turn of events in my life, but then years later I thanked my lucky stars that the apparent misfortune befell me. It is incredible how so often the best of Good Fortune comes to us masquerading as Sad and Sorry Days of Grief and Woe.</p>
<p>So – keep a level head and a clear mind. For as sure as the nights are long – the next day will turn up and life will go on no matter what your attitude to it. So you might as well, employ an element of trust that all will work out for the best and step into each day with hope, positivity and possibility.</p>
<p>And that is the key.</p>
<p>So many people simply do not allow for the possibility of things going well.</p>
<p>They do not allow for the possibility of a negative situation turning into a positive one.</p>
<p>They do not expect anything good to come from a perceived “bad” situation.</p>
<p>As I have said in previous posts. You can only manifest in your life what you can conceive of. So conceive that this dastardly occurrence in your life may actually have some lesson, positive outcome or tipping point that is going to change your life or impact your life in a meaningful and or positive way.</p>
<p>If you want possibility to exist in your life than you have to open the door to it and beckon it in.</p>
<p>Like anyone or anything, if you slam the door in the face of possibility all the time it will stop coming to call and the doorbell will remain un-rung.</p>
<p>So next time there is chaos in your life take a different stance.</p>
<p>Look for the lesson.</p>
<p>Choose the best path available.</p>
<p>Be open to possibilities that you may not even have considered and trust that the best option will be made clear to you.</p>
<p>Discover. Love. Be. Trust.</p>
<p>-Christine-</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Regrets, recriminations and rebuilding. Are you a slave to your past  &#8211; or trailblazing a future to last?</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/regrets-recriminations-and-rebuilding-are-you-a-slave-to-your-past-or-trailblazing-a-future-to-last/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/regrets-recriminations-and-rebuilding-are-you-a-slave-to-your-past-or-trailblazing-a-future-to-last/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Discover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Be]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guilt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Moving Forward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[regrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Discovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the past]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=319</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are so many times when we seem to live in the past. Blame the past. Worry about the past. Wish to change the past. But let’s face it. The simple fact is that there has never been... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/10/regrets-recriminations-and-rebuilding-are-you-a-slave-to-your-past-or-trailblazing-a-future-to-last/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There are so many times when we seem to live in the past.</p>
<p>Blame the past.</p>
<p>Worry about the past.</p>
<p>Wish to change the past.</p>
<p>But let’s face it. The simple fact is that there has never been a more futile endeavor than sitting about contemplating our past failings…..or successes for that matter.</p>
<p>We live in the now.</p>
<p>We live in the present.</p>
<p>And the only thing we can really control is how we choose to act in the here and now.</p>
<p>If there is one thing I am striving to delete from my experience at this present time, it is regret.</p>
<p>It is the most futile of emotions.</p>
<p>The most futile of places to be.</p>
<p>The most ridiculous waste of time, when all is said and done.</p>
<p>As the great saying goes:</p>
<p>“What’s done is done and can not be undone”</p>
<p>So all we can do is focus 100% on the present.<span id="more-319"></span></p>
<p>Create actions and thoughts in this present moment, that can take us through to the next moment in a positive and empowered way. Positive actions today can certainly become the positive habits of tomorrow – all you need to do is let go of the past and swing full throttle into the present.</p>
<p>I must confess that I used to be very much a “regret laden” individual. This is a fact that any of my family members will attest to. Constantly asking –</p>
<p>“ But what if I had done that?”</p>
<p>“ Did I miss my opportunity by not taking that job?”</p>
<p>“ Should I have accepted that offer or that project?”</p>
<p>“ My life could have been so much different if only blah blah blah”</p>
<p>Well you know what!</p>
<p>You didn’t. And it is not. And it won’t be.</p>
<p>I am sure you all know someone who suffers from this condition.</p>
<p>This What if, If only, It should’ve been this way disease.</p>
<p>And it is painful to listen to in the extreme. I know because I had to listen to myself for a good number of years ha ha ha ha!</p>
<p>But enough is enough – I can’t go on  &#8211; I can’t go on – no more! [cue song and dancing girls]
<p>I certainly do not have the answers to all of life’s big questions, but I do know this.</p>
<p>Spending your time basking in the unanswerable and unquantifiable world of “what if” is a sure way to nowhere but misery with a capitol M!</p>
<p>So – if this is you. Stand up right now. Look in a mirror and say simply:</p>
<p>“Enough is enough. You didn’t. You’re not. It’s not. It won’t be. You aren’t”</p>
<p>Now wave Bye Bye to that whinging, complaining slave to the past…… and be free!</p>
<p>Too easy!</p>
<p>That is it! Simple!</p>
<p>Decide right here and right now to move forward. To be present.</p>
<p>Now go forth and create a new reality, based on what you can actively do today to get where you want to be &#8211; today.</p>
<p>Start where you are now. Right now. And just build on it one little step at a time each and every day.</p>
<p>You might be surprised at just where you end up. But you have to start from where you are now, without regrets and without looking back at every missed opportunity, or misread adventure in a negative light.</p>
<p>We all have them.</p>
<p>Things that we perceive as mistakes.</p>
<p>Mis-steps.</p>
<p>Mis-haps.</p>
<p>Mis-adventures.</p>
<p>Missed opportunities.</p>
<p>Mis-calculations.</p>
<p>But perhaps – just perhaps – all these so &#8211; called unfortunate, regrettable incidents in our lives are the ones that we have learned the most from. Perhaps many of these things are what have brought us to where we are today. Perhaps these are the things that have forged understanding and compassion within our souls. Perhaps they are things that we actually really enjoyed, if we were honest with ourselves. Perhaps these “regrets” are what build our character and inform our mission and purpose in life, as we go forward. Perhaps they should be relished, cherished and used, as a force for good in our lives -their work already accomplished and done in the past.</p>
<p>We are after all, the sum of all we have experienced. And every moment of our lives has brought us to where we are today! Every moment whether perceived as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative has brought us to where we stand right now at this very minute. And perhaps we need to simply trust the process. Trust a higher order of things.</p>
<p>Perhaps regret really stands for:</p>
<p>Really</p>
<p>Easy</p>
<p>Growth</p>
<p>Reserved</p>
<p>Especially for</p>
<p>Today</p>
<p>Like I said earlier. Regret as we know and perceive of it, is a wasted emotion.</p>
<p>A road to nowhere.</p>
<p>An empty boat.</p>
<p>So the choice is yours.</p>
<p>Either move forward and give regret the flick. Or move to a place where your perception of it takes on a more positive and helpful connotation.</p>
<p>- Christine -</p>
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		<title>What you can become depends on what you can overcome &#8211; now ain&#8217;t that the truth.</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/09/what-you-can-become-depends-on-what-you-can-overcome/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/09/what-you-can-become-depends-on-what-you-can-overcome/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2014 11:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=328</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“WHAT YOU CAN BECOME DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CAN OVERCOME”   Anthony Douglas Williams – Inside the Divine Pattern This would have to be one of my favourite quotes of all time, as it is quite emblematic of... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/09/what-you-can-become-depends-on-what-you-can-overcome/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em><strong>“WHAT YOU CAN BECOME DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CAN OVERCOME”</strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>  Anthony Douglas Williams – Inside the Divine Pattern</strong></em></p>
<p>This would have to be one of my favourite quotes of all time, as it is quite emblematic of my own journey thus far, and as such a little poker that keeps prodding me to move forward even though I am constantly full of doubt and uncertainty.</p>
<p>I sometimes wonder if perhaps people read all my blog posts and think to themselves: “ Wow – that Christine really has it together”. When this thought runs speedily through my head and out the other side again, I have to laugh, as nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is this indecision and self -doubt that brought me to where I am today, as my motivation is to simply point out to everyone else, that we all feel these sorts of feelings.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter how confident we may appear to the outside world, everyone I have ever met has some sort of self doubt, fear, worry etc etc</p>
<p>That is just how life is.</p>
<p>Life is meant to be a challenge.</p>
<p>And it  is how we meet these challenges that determines how our life pans out.<span id="more-328"></span></p>
<p>To be honest, I have usually found that those people with the most skill and experience in any area, are often the people with the most self -doubt. I have been fortunate to know and teach, some incredibly talented people in my time and I have always found that the more talented and hard working the person the least confident they are.</p>
<p>This irony was strange to me at first, but then it all made sense.</p>
<p>People who are good at what they do are usually incredibly perfectionistic and judgemental when it comes to their own work. And sometimes the work of those around them too. It is like a double- edged sword. On one had it can make for some miserable self –assessments but on the other side it creates brilliance in some way too, as the standards set are exacting.</p>
<p>So my point here is:  what you can become,is very much defined by whatever you can overcome</p>
<p>As the quote says – you need to define yourself by what you can overcome as opposed to being defined by what scares or intimidates you.</p>
<p>As many successful people will tell you, they had no idea what they were doing when they started or launched their first ever project. But they did it anyway. Learned from those mistakes and moved on to the next project.</p>
<p>So what we need to do,is harness the very things that can so easily block our path and use them to our advantage. And these next two are the most common blocks we all experience.</p>
<p><strong>1. Fear of failure.</strong></p>
<p>Put it to bed and overcome it. Better to have tried and failed,then to not have tried at all. Trying is winning after all. Not giving your ideas a go is the real failure. A failure to believe in yourself. A failure to follow your gut and your intuition. Making yourself a casualty of your own lack of belief is really sad. I personally think there is no such thing as failure: you take the plunge and you will end up somewhere – moving you to the next step of where you are going. It may not be a full step – it may just be a little hiccup of a step. But you will land somewhere – and that somewhere will be a step across from where you were at least. Stagnation is death. Death of the soul.</p>
<p><strong>2. Worry about what other people will think and say.</strong></p>
<p>50% of people will love what you do and 50% will most likely hate it. That is the Law of The Universe and the Law of Averages. So suck it up and do not concern yourself with them. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do – there will always be  equal amounts of criticism and adoration. That is just how it goes. I mean, think of your favourite celebrity, or actor, or humanitarian, or activist, or writer, or singer, or scientist. It does not matter how fabulous you think someone is, there will be someone out there determined to criticize them and send a whole heap of negativity their way.  At the same time, a whole heap of positive reinforcement will come your way too. So if someone who is already way further down the accomplishment path than you can get criticism thrown at them – why can’t you?</p>
<p>In my own life, I have had to really dig deep to accomplish some of my goals and some things I have missed out on because I could not conquer and overcome my fears and anxieties.</p>
<p>My first huge life challenge was starting to learn drum-kit at age 24. I felt quite foolish walking into Billy Hydes Drumcraft, in Commonwealth St, Surry Hills at that age to have my first lesson. All the guys working there seemed so very young and pretty cool  &#8211; and they could all play drums of course. And I felt like some old and “all too late to learn woman”.</p>
<p>When I had my first ever ‘jam / audition’ to join a band I was so nervous that I would take too long to set up my kit ,that I spent hours at home in my lounge room, assembling and de-assembling my drum-kit. And timing myself ha ha ah! Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.  The whole thing – kick, toms, peddle, microphone in case they required backing vocals, high hat, ride! Over and over and over again, until I was satisfied I would look like I knew what I was doing. If anyone could have seen me they would have laughed and laughed. Especially all the guys at  Billy Hydes. However – I had overcome my fear of looking stupid setting up my kit and I was on my way.</p>
<p>Well   &#8211; I am glad I did it. One of my bands I joined ended up being played on the radio some 5 years or so later. On Nova 96.9 in a battle of the bands competition of some sort. And I will never forget driving down Parammatta Rd, listening to me – Little Chrissy [ you will remember her from some other posts ] – playing drum-kit in a fabulous little Pop band called Sugar Hit.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, my bravery did not last and I was not able to overcome my fear of moving to the next level and moving to a place where I could play covers regularly in paying gigs and perhaps even be a session drummer. One rejection at an audition for a Rock Covers Band and I was cactus. The other drummers had serious drum-kits with all the bells and whistles. About 4 or 5 toms set up on a very impressive rack and I just had my trusty 5 piece black Pearl Export with a crash and a ride. My confidence was gone. My audition / jam was rubbish.</p>
<p>All over red rover.</p>
<p>I couldn’t bring myself to go and “jam” again as I felt so sure I was no good.</p>
<p>So – that was the end of my career as a drummer.</p>
<p>However something of value did come out of this experience. And that was experience.</p>
<p>The next time I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I turned around and did it anyway.</p>
<p>And that was when I launched my tap syllabus Tapatak Oz.</p>
<p>Having the memory of “what might have been” as a drummer lurking in my memory, I determined that no matter what, I was going to write this syllabus and launch it out into the public arena.</p>
<p>I would not be defeated by fear. I would not give up before I even tried.</p>
<p>If it sold some copies that would be great.</p>
<p>And, if it didn’t sell?</p>
<p>No worries – I had allowed for my investment capitol to be lost.</p>
<p>At least I would know that I had tried and given it my best shot.</p>
<p>But as it happened, it did sell. And sell well. Obliterating all my expectations.</p>
<p>Not only did it sell in Australia, but I now have clients all over the world from Dubai to Finland to USA to New Zealand to France and Italy and Singapore.</p>
<p>Examinations and teacher Accreditation are also running throughout Australia.</p>
<p>To be honest – I don’t know if I thought I would ever sell any of this syllabus, even though I believed 100% in the quality and effectiveness of the product and still do.</p>
<p>It is great.</p>
<p>But I just had to try.  I could not face another “drumming fiasco” full of  “what might have been”.</p>
<p>So the point is this – if I had not been able to overcome my fear of putting myself and my tap dancing education product out there, it would not exist.</p>
<p>Pure and simple.</p>
<p>What you can become really does depend on what you can overcome.</p>
<p>So when you are looking at what you may want to do with your life and where you may want to go, stop and think to yourself:</p>
<ol>
<li>What is stopping me here?</li>
<li>How can I overcome it?</li>
<li>What are my action steps to face this fear</li>
</ol>
<p>Then lock and load – and you are on your way.</p>
<p>I now have this quote above my laptop in my office where I can see it every day.</p>
<p>It inspires me in all aspects of my life.</p>
<p>It guides me through new relationships, new friendships and all manner of endeavours &#8211; social, business, family, professional and personal.</p>
<p>It has helped me conquer my fear of flying, as I realized that if I wanted to travel, I had to conquer that fear.</p>
<p>Life really can be quite simple sometimes.</p>
<p>So discover what you need to conquer to be the person you want to be and to live the life you want to live.</p>
<p>Discover. Love. Be. Truth.</p>
<p>- Christine -</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Silence is Golden</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/07/silence-is-golden/</link>
		<comments>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/07/silence-is-golden/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jul 2014 04:13:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[abridge]]></dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=254</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is, for me, one of the truest of all the proverbs I know and one that I advocate quite strongly for, given its importance as I see it in our modern world. As someone who also finds... <a class="read-more" href="https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/07/silence-is-golden/">Read More</a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is, for me, one of the truest of all the proverbs I know and one that I advocate quite strongly for, given its importance as I see it in our modern world.</p>
<p>As someone who also finds it difficult to “hold her tongue” so to speak, and as someone who has an opinion on nearly everything, it does strike me as quite ironic though, that these three little words hold such a dear place in my heart.</p>
<p>As with many proverbs, the origin of this phrase is obscured by the passing of time, though there are reports of it dating back to as far as Ancient Egypt. The first example of it in English is said to be from the poet Thomas Carlyle, who translated the phrase from German in Sartor Resartus , 1831, in which a character expounds at length on the virtues of silence.</p>
<p><span id="more-254"></span></p>
<p>There is also reference to this proverb being used in relation to women in the 16<sup>th</sup> Century with Silence being described as a “ woman’s finest garment”. As you can imagine, this third reference would not be one that I would be promoting in any way shape or form – but there it is regardless to taunt me in the writing of this article. I can only be grateful that I was not around in the 16<sup>th</sup> Century to marvel at this type of thinking, as I do not think it would have ended well at all, to say the least.</p>
<p>But now, to the proverb itself and the importance or value I feel we can garner from it in the 21<sup>st</sup> Century.</p>
<p>First and foremost, I feel that perhaps these wonderful three words can guide us to look inward for counsel, and encourage us to seek wisdom in the depths of our own silence. With the constant “buzzing” of our modern world coming at us from all angles and in all guises  &#8211; constantly and consistently – perhaps these three tiny words hold the key to our salvation in a world of madness and noise and confusion. Perhaps these three little words can pack a powerful punch if we take them at face value and literally and truly appreciate a little Silent Time each day.</p>
<p>Perhaps it is through this silence that we can hear our most treasured secrets and innate wisdom. And perhaps we have to take the time to stop and really listen. Perhaps we need to pause, and make room for the silence to expand and engulf us, to really soak up it’s true benefits. Perhaps we need to let the Silence speak to us. We need to give it time to breathe and be. We need to give it time to elaborate upon its nothingness, in order for it to show us the complete intricacies of it’s ‘everything-ness’?</p>
<p>This Silence is not something to be rushed, for it is in its expansion and timelessness that its true virtue can be found.</p>
<p>Perhaps in this space and time we need to recognize that this Silence is truly Golden.</p>
<p>A Golden Promise leading to our true selves.</p>
<p>A Golden Light shining in the darkness of our man made delusions and confusions.</p>
<p>A Golden Treasure waiting to be found and cultivated.</p>
<p>I encourage all of you to seek out this Silence and enjoy its full possibilities and promise.</p>
<p>In fact – take a moment right now to just sit in this Silence.</p>
<p>This beautiful, resounding, all encompassing Silence.</p>
<p>Let it eat you up and consume you. Let it take you away to another world – your Inner World. A world of peace and quiet and possibility and presence.</p>
<p>When you are ready – open your eyes –  regroup – reconnect -  and continue onward.</p>
<p>Now consider making that a regular and special part of your day.</p>
<p>The other aspect of this proverb that really speaks to me, is in relation to our interactions with other people.</p>
<p>So often, when in a conversation, we are listening to the other person speaking, but not hearing them at all. We are too busy thinking about our response. Too busy formulating our answer. Too busy figuring a way to sway the other person to our way of thinking. Too busy coming up with a witty comment to display our fabulous intellect or a way to Segway to a topic of our expertise.</p>
<p>But again we forget.</p>
<p>Silence is Golden.</p>
<p>If we can just silence our minds from our inward chitter chatter and silence ourselves from having to speak – perhaps we may find out something fascinating and intriguing about the other person that we did not know.</p>
<p>Perhaps, in giving them the time and space to speak and hold the floor, we may truly hear them and our interactions may be all the richer for the genuine attention and presence we have given to the other person in the conversation.</p>
<p>As I say these things however – do not think for a minute that I am an expert in reigning in of my own chatter. I am notorious for “not listening” to people and drifting off to some other place when others are speaking.  Unfortunately for me, my face is quite expressive and it is not too difficult for people to tell that I have no idea what they have just said when this occurs.</p>
<p>As with most of us – this distraction seems to reveal itself mainly when I am conversing with family.</p>
<p>Why I do not know?</p>
<p>With friends, acquaintances and clients I am known for being the exact opposite. 100% fully engaged and committed to the conversation. But put me with family and I can suddenly drift off into another time and place, looking blankly at a pillow or a wall.</p>
<p>So the point here is that we all, most likely, have some times, places and people with whom we can exercise this proverb and activate our own silence to the betterment of the situation at hand.</p>
<p>For our betterment and introspection when engaging with ourselves and our Inner World.</p>
<p>For the betterment of those around us to allow them to be fully heard when they are trying to communicate and share themselves with us.</p>
<p>In the end, I think perhaps that much can be learned about ourselves and about all those around us from taking on the role of Observer.</p>
<p>Silent Observer.</p>
<p>Silent Listener.</p>
<p>Silent Seeker of this Golden Treasure.</p>
<p>So once again – I invite you to take this concept and run with it in your own life.</p>
<p>See if it works for you.</p>
<p>Be aware of You and how You are in the world and in Your space.</p>
<p>Wishing you lots of nothing-ness and everything-ness.</p>
<p>Discover. Love. Be.</p>
<p>- Christine -</p>
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		<title>Discover</title>
		<link>https://abridgetoyou.com.au/2014/06/be/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2014 22:42:03 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abridgetoyou.com.au/?p=56</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Just because you are successful at something or just because others see you in a certain role, it is not necessarily the totality of who you are.  Live your truth.]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Just because you are successful at something or just because others see you in a certain role, it is not necessarily the totality of who you are. </em></p>
<p><em style="color: #666666;">Live your truth.</em></p>
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