What if everything that we experience in our reality is heavily impacted by what is going on in our heads?

What if our thoughts create our reality?

What if we can harness the extraordinary power and energy of our thoughts to create the life of our choosing?

What if we can alter our experience of life by simply choosing new and empowering thoughts?

By choosing to plant healthy, proactive seeds in the garden of our mind?

Well there are many people who claim this is be the case.

My favourite quote on this topic is below:

MIND IS THE MASTER POWER

THAT MOLDS AND MAKES

AND WE ARE MIND, AND THE EVERMORE

WE TAKE

THE TOOL OF THOUGHT AND SHAPING

WHAT WE WILL

BRINGS FORTH A THOUSAND JOYS

A THOUSAND ILLS

WE THINK IN SECRET

AND IT COMES TO PASS

THE WORLD IS BUT

OUR LOOKING GLASS

JAMES ALLEN – AS YOU THINK

My response to this wonderful text is a life -affirming YES!

Yes – life is in our heads and in every thought that passes through our experience. And so it follows, that it is also at our very own fingertips – and so very accessible to us all. And this is where it is so very easy for us to go so wrong.

Making the realization, that the life we are living in our heads has such a huge impact on the life that is then actualized, brought to reality and found at our proverbial fingertips, is easier said than done perhaps.

Perhaps if we spent more time cultivating our minds and harnessing the power that resides there, we would find our life experiences to be a little more rewarding and up to our expectations.

How wonderful life is when we view it the right way. How wonderful life can be when the conceptualized version of events that germinates in our wildest thoughts and dreams, can be molded into a positive stream of thought from where we can build our reality.

It has taken me so many years to realize this simple fact.

So many years wasted in negative preamble.

So many moments lost in an unharnessed grey matter.

The sayings that revolve around this one little truth are endless – but oh so true.

Our thoughts create our reality.

Like attracts like.

What we think – so we become.

To put things in their most simplistic terms – your life is what you expect it to be.

Have you ever noticed how people who love to complain about everything seem to find each other, so they can wallow together. Whilst those who have a cheerful, can-do attitude also seem to find their way to each other’s door.

And the two do not seem to mix .

It is a simple Law of the Universe. What you put out there is what you get back.

And birds of a feather certainly DO flock together!

What you think, so you shall become.

What you can conceive of can become your reality.

So – be on the pulse. Be ready to go. Be grateful. Be thankful for all that is. Embrace your emotions – all of them – the complete gamut – they all have something to offer and to teach.

Experience every inch of the spectrum and guard your thoughts wisely, as they will indeed inform your experience in your physical reality.

Breathe in the good life. See the good life. Become the good life.

Everything is for the taking and things can be whatever you want them to be. But you have to imagine it first. You have to conceive of it first.

You have to believe in it 100% first.

This is not to say that you dream of some grand existence and then sit around waiting for it to happen. Nothing could be further from the truth. But the visualizing, or imaging, or thinking, of what your ideal life would look like is definitely the first step to getting it into existence.

Once you have conceived of your vision, then you need to take the all important action steps to make it a reality. All the time “vibrating” at the level needed to attract like- minded people and opportunities to you.

To my mind you can look at this concept in three different ways.

From a scientific perspective.

From a metaphysical perspective.

From a logical perspective!

And all these perspectives seem to intersect in a rather interesting fashion.

This is a topic that is currently bringing both the scientific community and metaphysical community together.

Many scientists are talking about the power of energy and vibration. The power of the subconscious mind. For those wanting to delve into this in a more scientific manner, Bruce H. Lipton, PH.D has a wonderful book called The Biology Of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles.

It is a great read and for the uninitiated scientists amongst us he makes the whole concept quite easy to follow from a scientific perspective. There are a few chapters that will challenge those of you who like me, are not from an academic/scientific background – but all in all it really makes everything so clear and readily understandable for all readers.

And then from a metaphysical perspective we have access to the words of Abraham [via Esther and Jerry Hicks]  who as you may or may not know speak a lot about the importance of our vibration and aligning to what we want to attract. Many forms of energy healing also talk about this magical “vibration”.

Put simply, you want to raise your vibration, so you attract the positive experiences that you are seeking into your life.

And for those looking for a simple and logical approach, take a normal social environment. If you were going out for an evening and you saw a group of really sad and depressed people sitting all hunched and huddled in a corner – would you choose to go and sit with them?

Most likely –  not. Not unless you were also feeling miserable.

In most scenarios, we gravitate to the people in the room who are looking cheerful, happy, engaged in the proceedings and looking positive. Like attracts like! The people who are wanting to have a great time and are actively participating in an activity will all flock together whilst the “ho hum” brigade will also find each other and miss every opportunity to have fun that the evening presents.

I know this for a fact as I have been on both sides of this story many a time.

So – what is the message here?

The seconds that pass by are nothing but the past. And the future is yet to come. So be present in the now. Be fully here in the now and see how the world can take on a new, fresh and exciting edge.

To be or not to be?

To live or to watch on from the sidelines?

Participate in every moment  - because you are your experience. You create your experience.  You are your life –  and no-one else can live it for you.

One of my favourite sayings is: “ If you can’t change what is happening around you, then change your attitude to it”

This is such a profound statement and again – so very true.

Sit with it for a while and let it float about in your head.

If you can’t change what is going on around you – then change your attitude to it.

Simple. Easy. Definitive.

Our perception is everything.

Our perception can be rainbows and stardust or dark clouds and lots of rain.

So check your thoughts regularly.

Watch out for unnecessarily negative preamble.

Expect things to go well.

Feel happy and centred and full of hope.

Create that space that will attract what you want towards you.

Go out into each day with a zest for life and a belief that it can be great….because it can.

Be the experience you want to have.

Feel like the experience you want to have.

And finally you will have the experience you want to have.

If you do not believe in the ability you have to create wonder in your life, how can you possibly expect anyone else around you to join you on your journey to greatness.

- Christine -

“ I should have had the beef”

“ I wish I had ordered the chicken”

“ I knew I should have had the lamb”

These were all regular and constant refrains – much to the consternation and aggravation of my ever-suffering dinner companions and family members.

To say I was an irritating dinner guest would have to be an understatement ha ha ha.

Move forward a few years and look at me now. I am simply full of aplomb and no regrets when ordering a meal. It is a wonder to behold.

So how did I move forward from this fear of decision-making?

How did I make the all- encompassing leap to take a chance on a steak dinner without breaking into a sweat?

The answer is relatively simple.

I finally realized [again some of my family would argue that they are still waiting for me to fully actualize this concept in my own life ha ha ha ]  – that decisions are actually the brightness in our day – not the darkness.

Decisions are what point out that we actually have options in most things that we do.

Decisions are the most acute form of power that we have in our lives.

Decisions bring colour and movement into our days.

Decisions are gold!

So – it may just be whether we are having the chicken or the fish – but no matter how small the decision is, it gives us the right to choose. To add something different to our routine. To change it up a bit. Or leave it the same.

The choice is yours.

Living in Australia I am even more cognizant of the luxuries constantly surrounding me when it comes to making decisions.  Despite being a woman – I can go where I want, when I want, whenever I choose.  I can speak my mind and choose my own clothes. I can go out where I want, when I want and with whom I want. And this is not a luxury afforded all women, children and people of the world. So apart from the colouring in of my day that making a decision affords me, I now also realize that it is a right and luxury not extended to everyone on the planet unfortunately.

So – where once I used to become frustrated by decisions. I now see them as an incredible tool to colour my life and exercise my free will. Whether that be in ordering a meal or taking on decisions of more importance.

Decisions = Choice = Opportunity = Gold.

The other thing I finally realized is that there are no bad decisions.

There are just decisions.

They do not require an adjective to describe them.

Decisions are simply a wonderful function that direct us to a new place. A new path. Or maybe back to an old, familiar well worn trajectory.

As long as you are moving, learning, travelling down one of life’s many options – all is good. If you come to realize that the path chosen is not the best for your tastes, then simply change course. Find another path. Make another decision.

If you do not wish to be at the beach anymore, then seek out a forest.

If you are tired of eating fish and chips, go get yourself a steak.

Nothing in this life is set in concrete. Everything is a variable. And this is what makes our lives exciting and challenging. This variable. This unknown. This choice. This opportunity to make a decision and take the reigns on our existence.

Imagine what the world would be like if there was no power of choice? And nothing to choose.

No variables. No change.

Imagine you were born with a certain group of friends, lived in a certain town, had certain beliefs, and you knew with a certainty that these could never change. You knew that every day would be the same, day in and day out with very little chance of new experiences coming your way. Mmmmmmm – not the optimum existence for most people I would think?

And yet we tend to complain when we have to make a decision. Or when we need to make change.

Lost friends. Lost lovers. Lost jobs.

These are not bad things at all, but merely an opportunity to seek out change. This signifies that all the lessons to be learnt here are done and dusted and you need to move on to new people and new topics.

So perhaps we do not need to mourn the passing of certain friendships and situations, but rather we can embrace the opportunity it brings. And when any sort of decision presents itself, just remember there is no right or wrong.

All decisions are simply a mechanism to direct you somewhere. When you get there you can decide if you wish to continue in that direction, double back to where you started or change course completely. So try to see them as the wonderful kaleidoscopic opportunity they represent.

Decisions are colour.

Decisions are movement.

Decisions are a grand luxury not afforded to all.

Decisions are opportunity wrapped up in a great big bow.

So – next time to have to make a decision, cast your mind back to this page, consider the entire palette at your disposal and colour your world with the hues of your choice.

De-loverly Decisions.

­- Christine-

-       Unknown –

All the quotes in my blog have had a powerful impact upon my own life, which is why I share them here with all of you today. And this particular quote is one of the most poignant. Sure, we have all had moments that we wish had played out differently. Things we have said. Actions we have taken. Moments that highlight our imperfections and inadequacies, rather than our strengths and our virtues.

But that is ok.

That is just how life is.

It is often these “less than ideal” situations or moments that push us to define what we truly want from ourselves. It is these moments that push us to discover exactly who we are – the light and the dark. The good and the bad. The wise and the not so wise. It is these very moments that create our identity, sense of purpose and sense of who we are. What we can do better. What we want to achieve. Where we want to head. So in my mind, we should be as grateful for these moments as we are for the ones that go swimmingly well and leave us basking in the fabulousness of who we are.

Along with this has also come the realization, that most moments that linger with me as “ gee – I wish I could do that again” – tend to be the moments I missed.

The opportunities that I didn’t capitalize upon.

The moments that came and went.

The experiences that passed me by as I either sat in indecision, or fear, or some other form of immobilization that stopped me from participating.

Some of these things were really simple things like not going abseiling because I thought my bottom would look big as I came down the side of the cliff. How ridiculous. How sad. How completely stupid. I hasten to add that years later I did have the opportunity to go Indoor Rock-climbing and this time no such worry stood in my way and I had a fabulous time.

The message here is quite simple – loud and clear.

Go out on that limb. Follow the path to new experiences.

Dare to try.

Dare to be different.

Dare to give it a go.

Why?

Because quite simply, the opportunity may not come your way again. You may miss the chance to meet some interesting people or do something new and worthwhile.

Of course – there are opportunities that present themselves daily that may represent a most unwise choice that could seriously harm yourself or the people around you and of course these are not the opportunities to which I am referring here. Anything that represents a clear and present danger to you or those around you should be avoided and declined at all costs.

What we are talking about here, are the things we let slip by that could take us on a new course, with no real danger to life and or limb. Things that float past our reality, beckoning us forth to a new adventure. Things that are on our “bucket list” perhaps but never quite happen. Things that we always dreamed of doing.

It is funny but true, that we will most likely be disappointed by the chances we didn’t take than by the ones we did. At least when you follow through on an idea, a wish, a dream, a plan – you know the results of your efforts.

But if that dream, that vision, that idea, that plan, that promise, that invitation is left unanswered – then you will never and can never know what might have been.

Would have  – could have – should have – are the most destructive and fruitless words in our vocabulary. They take you on a very short ride to nowhere.

Been there and done that are far more satisfying, even if the doing of the action cements firmly in your person that you have no intention of ever taking that course od action again. This could be said for my decision to go whale watching one wintery Sydney day. It was flat out the worst 3 hours of my life. The seas were incredibly rough and there was not a whale in sight. In fact, the only creature that made a brief appearance was a random seagull that happened past for but a moment.

To add salt to my wounds, whilst I was being violently ill over the side of the boat, making my reacquaintance with the bacon and egg roll I unwisely chose for breakfast, a Canadian couple were canoodling madly nearby. The scene was quite surreal. My sister and I beyond ill at one end of the boat whilst the Canadian Bear Grylls and his girlfriend were having a “love in” at the other ha ha ha.

Now – the point is. At least I went on that whale watching trip.

Would I do it again? Certainly not. But I am not sitting around wondering what it would have been like had I gone.

I have also been offered the opportunity to go sky diving  – twice no less.

However this is something that I have never done. And I must admit that I do sometimes sit around thinking what it would be like to jump put of a plane into oblivion at thousands of feet above land ha ha ha. So I do wonder if that is one thing I shall be disappointed in, within myself as I head to great beyond at the end of my life on the Planet.

As I said – we all have to way up in life what represents fair risk in our lives. And I am not suggesting you all run out and do crazy, risk taking activities, like sky diving or whale watching ha ha ha. I am simply recommending that you take life by the proverbial horns and get out there amongst it.

There is no longer the excuse of not having anyone to do things with, as there are oodles of social groups through which you can meet likeminded individuals and join up with them to try out some new things. Meet Up is a wonderful way to find kindred spirits of all kinds. They have groups for dancing, attending music, concerts and bands, discussing literature, watching films and documentaries that can change the world, dinner groups, drinking groups, non drinking but still having fun groups, hiking and bush walking groups, scientific groups, philosophical groups, foreign language groups etc etc . This list goes on and on -  so you can always jump on line and find some other people to enjoy some new things with you.

At the end of the day:

Only you know what is on your “bucket list “ .

Only you know what dreams live within your heart.

Only you know what opportunities you have let pass you by in the past

And only you can make a change into the future to seek, explore and discover all that you are, all that you want to do, all that you want to learn, all that you want to be and all that you want to experience.

So – make time each day to think about you. Make time each day to honour you and your dreams, your ambitions and your wishes.

Make that “bucket list” and start ticking off the items.

Make a decision to take opportunities as they come your way.

Get out and about and do some of those things you have always dreamed of doing, as one day, your time will be up.

So now – go back to the quote at the top and re-read it.

Then slowly close your eyes, listen to your heart and see what comes to your mind.

Imagine yourself dreaming, exploring and discovering.

Where is your little boat taking you?

To where are you sailing?

What adventures are you embarking upon?

What opportunities  and invitations will you not miss again?

Let your soul speak to you about what is lying dormant inside you waiting to be awoken.

Now – go – reread the quote again and I shall wait for you here. Do not open your eyes again until your heart is full of joy, full of ideas, full of excitement and full of possibilities.

Welcome back.

Now grab and pen and paper and write down exactly where you saw yourself.

Where was your soul drawing you to be?

What opportunities, activities and experiences have your name etched upon them?

Where are your sails taking you?

I can say that doing this little exercise and reading this little quote once a week or once a month can inject some purpose and drive into your life. Re-evaluate where you are at all the time, as we constantly change our minds and ideas and feelings – and that is OK too. That is simply growth.

So take the plunge and launch yourself headlong into life.

Organize those ukulele lessons. Book that trip to Machu Picchu. Catch up with that long lost friend for dinner. Accept the invitation to that seminar. Go out salsa dancing even though you are 70 and people say you are too old. Start that new cupcake business. Go hiking with a new group of like- minded people.

Just do it!

Like diving into a sea of possibility – if you don’t go in the water, you can’t experience the sweet caress of the waves or the sand beneath your feet.

As we all know. Life rewards action.

This is your time.

This is your moment.

This is your chance to move.

Discover. Love. Be.

This is all there is.

- Christine -

Not one other.

There is no one else who is 100% You.

I mean – how cool is that!?

What it really means is that no matter what you do in life, no matter what choices you make, no matter which path you take – you can not fail at being You.

It is simply impossible.

Nobody can be “Youer” than You!

When you think about it, that is pretty crazy stuff. In fact, it is so crazy, and wonderful that I wonder why we all take life so seriously.

I mean, how simple can it be?

All we have to do in life is be who we are, with the added bonus that there is actually no-one else in the race ha ah ah ha!

There is only one of us at the starting line.

Kaboom!

Everyone’s a Winner!

You would think that given this knowledge we would all be running around the place with huge grins on our faces. But no – quite to the contrary, we seem determined to make life so much more difficult than it is meant to be.

The main culprit here is constantly comparing ourselves to others. Pushing away all the unique traits and attributes that make us who we are, in favour of “towing the line” and fitting in with some pre-ordained notion of how we should be.

And whilst I may sound like I have my own unique little life perfectly in balance, I have spent much of my time in the past doing exactly this and creating a whole world of pain and anguish for myself that just did not need to be there.

In retrospect it all seems so foolish. Because it is ha ha ha!

We are here on the planet, I believe, to simply figure out who we are and express it joyfully to the world at large, giving them the opportunity to either join in our celebration or run to the nearest hiding place.

Either option is fine as long as we are being true to ourselves and not impinging upon anybody else’s right to be who they are in the process.

True to You.

Loving You.

Unashamedly You.

That is all You need to do.

So why is it all so difficult sometimes?

Because we live in a world that is constantly trying to convince us that our little brand of who we are – that is, your little brand of You – doesn’t cut the mustard. That we don’t measure up.

Measure up to what I ask?

I prefer chutney to be honest.

Who set these standards and conformities?

How about just measuring up to your own set of rules, morals, ethics and standards?

Like I said. As long as you are not wilfully and deliberately impacting upon another person’s life and liberty in a negative way, you should be free to live your own life and run your own race.

And the benefits are huge.

So consider this.

If you can stop listening to the Peanut Gallery……. who always have an opinion on everything and a seemingly unending bucket of nuts.

You can Find you.

You can Be you.

You can Run Your own race.

And guess what?

The bonus is that you are a dead set certainty to win this race, as you are the only one in it!!!

Can you believe how easy life is meant to be.

Job Done.

Happy Days.

And with that knowledge, I ask you to go full throttle into life.

Discover you.

Love You.

Be You.

Live Your life.

Because there is only one You.

-Christine-

For most of us, especially those approaching their 40’s and beyond, there will be segments of our lives, each one dotted with the friends and acquaintances particular to that period. And then, in the most special and extraordinary of instances, there are those gem like friendships that stand the test of time and remain constant, resistant to the challenges of travel, distance, family, changing life paths and other such occurrences.

Quite recently I found myself taking stock of all the incredible and amazing people who have passed through my life, both recently, and way back into my school days. And I have to say – what a ride I have had. The person who exists today, this Christine Denny as she exists right here and now, is not only down to me – but also down to this vast myriad of people who have come in and out of the revolving door of my life experience.

I like to think of my life as some sort of Grand Hotel, so to speak, with a great set of fabulous rotating doors, leading into the lobby. You now the ones – all brass and glass and usually swinging about quite swiftly ha ah ha! Some people think the entry point looks way too complicated and precarious to negotiate, so simply walk on by, not even bothering to investigate what is on offer, and risk getting snaffled in the swiftly moving doors. Some get into the revolving door, take a peek into the lobby, go around a few times to make certain, then decide to just keep on spinning around and exit straight out the other side ha ha. Some get into the revolving door, exit into the lobby, stay a while, have a few cocktails or a delightful afternoon tea and then leave. And others move from the lobby up into one of the designer penthouse suites and take up residence for the long haul.

What is incredibly interesting to me is that some of the people I was sure would be in the penthouse for quite a while, sipping on a margarita and admiring the view. People I would grow old with. People whose friendships I was certain would last the distance.  People whose company and ideas I treasured the most. Some of these people are actually the people who have checked out of my hotel prematurely and unexpectedly. These valued and treasured parts of my life, were simply one day no longer there.

No longer available.

Clearly they no longer found me of interest, value or worth in their lives?

Clearly they had moved on to what they perceived as “bigger and better” things and people?

Clearly that meant that I was defective in some sort of way?

Having been put out with the garbage, so to speak, is not a nice feeling at all.

Clearly this sort of thing packs a real punch – and we have all experienced it.

We are left exclaiming the proverbial – “ what the? “ as we make the jump to the realization that we shall have to negotiate the rest of our life without this well weathered and trusted friend. We are left asking a whole host of questions about what we did wrong. What we said wrong.

What the hell happened?

What I have finally realized is that, not all our friendships are meant to last a lifetime.

Not everyone who comes into our life is meant to stay.

I did nothing wrong.

You did nothing wrong.

We were just meant to have these people in our lives for a shorter period of time then we anticipated.

We learned our lessons from them.

We grew and blossomed and found out important stuff about ourselves through them and their contribution to our lives.

Maybe we didn’t blossom so much on the surface and the end of the friendship was upsetting or disturbing or abusive. But if we look inward and look to the deeper elements of the friendship, we will see that we grew with this person – and they grew with us. We shared ourselves and our lessons with each other. Grabbing a nightcap in our lobby or chatting over a coffee in the café, we experienced each other and all we had to offer each other. And now – it is time to grow in another direction, with other friendships activating our tools of self -discovery.

Everyone has their very own Grand Hotel that they are running and servicing and sometimes, you just can not be a long-term guest in their hotel. Perhaps they do not have enough rooms available, as new guests have booked in?  Perhaps the guest in Suite 404 is giving them a lot of trouble, requires greater attention and you are the inevitable fall out? Perhaps they recently closed their hotel and are re-opening in a new location? Perhaps their hotel is under renovation and there is simply no room for the old furniture? Perhaps you have new requirements as a guest – you want Mexican food for dinner each night, but their restaurant only serves Thai? You want a turn down service but they do not have the capacity to offer such things?

It has taken me so long to see, that my friendships are not all about me.

It has taken me so long to see that there are many variables in sustaining a friendship or relationship of any sort and these variables exist on both sides.

In both hotels.

In both people’s lives.

Not just in my Grand Establishment.

The simple and sometimes cruel reality is that friendship is a two way street.

You can not force someone to want to be your friend.

You can not force someone to want to spend time with you.

You can not run the race of friendship on your own.

It takes two.

But here is where the magic and mystery lies.

If you look closely into those lost friendships, you will see that in 99% of the cases, when one friendship exited stage left so to speak, another friendship would have entered stage right. Most of the times, as one person leaves the lobby of your life, another person will come through the back door and decide to stay a while, order and beverage and take off their coat.

So do not despair, the next time a friendship or relationship ends. Trust in the process of life and know that someone else will be entering your life soon to take you to new experiences and new times. Someone else will enter to fill the gap. You can trust in that for sure.

Be vigilant as these new people and experiences come into view though, as if you are too busy wallowing in the loss of what and who went before, you may miss the new people and opportunities that are presenting themselves. Also be cognizant of the fact that the new person coming into your life could be you.  That’s right. The irrepressible and wonderful you, could be needing a little alone time to work on a new project or to simply be –taking stock of the journey so far and where to set off to next.

So relax.

Follow your heart.

Trust that a new horizon awaits you and take the necessary steps to get there.

Some of the most important friendships along my life path have been those that no longer exist, or those that are only nourished sporadically.

So instead of mourning the loss of a friendship – celebrate what is gave you. Celebrate what it taught you. Rejoice in the good fortune you had in meeting that person and spending time with them, safe in the knowledge that a new and exciting adventure is just outside your door, waiting to enter, when the vacancy sign is visible from the path.

So hang out the shingle to your Hotel. Let it be a Grand Hotel of your making.

But remember, that some of these guests will come and go at will, through your revolving door, and this is exactly as it should be.

Discover.

Love.

Be.

- Christine -

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself. A woman who listens to her needs and desires. Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the pasts’s influence on the present. A woman who has walked through her past. Who has healed in the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life. A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf. Who refuses to surrender except to her own truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods. A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness. Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body. A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is. Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honours the body of the Goddess in her changing body. A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom. Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life. A woman who sits in circles of women. Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Patricia Lynn Reilly

Taken from the book: The Strength of Women

There really is not very much I can add to the profound wisdom of this passage and I thank Patricia Lynn Reilly from the depths of my being for writing it. It is funny how certain words find you at the perfect place and time and give you exactly what you need in that moment.

I happened upon the little book that contained this writing, one sunny day in a Post Office queue in Mackay, North Queensland. I have a tendency to shop in Post Offices and Airports, so it was not surprising that my eye wandered whilst waiting in the Xmas throngs. But what was surprising was that it was a book of this nature that caught my eye. It was unusual that this little book took my attention for some reason.

I was not there to buy a book.

I was not needing to read a book.

I just saw the book and felt immediately drawn to it.

For most of my life I have lived with a certain amount of annoyance at having been born a girl. In a world that is so heavily weighted towards men, it just seemed like an uphill battle sometimes. Apart from having to deal with a whole list if issues that come with the simple reproductive capacity we bring to the world, it just seemed like men had all the fun. Made the rules. Called the shots. Had less to worry about.

Then one summer’s day – I found this book and read this insightful passage and the world of my womanhood opened up like a brand new book, waiting to be explored and read for the first time.

The impact each verse had on me was quite overwhelming.

For the first time in my life I felt like part of an incredible Sisterhood!

Part of a wise council of elders.

Part of an incredible group, blessed with the role of giving life to the planet.

Part of a special force for good.

Part of a sensual, beautiful, loving and nurturing energy.

I actually felt glad to have been born a woman.

This was a huge leap for me, and one that has been gradually unfolding over the past few years. Whereas in my younger years I always preferred the company of men, I found myself meeting more and more incredible women.

Strong women.

Inspiring women.

Fun women.

Really funky, and cool women.

Headstrong, and opinionated women.

Compassionate women.

Women who set their own course and knew their own value.

Women who stood their ground and made their own way in the world.

Sexy, smart, empowered women who supported the other women around them.

And the oh so very wise women who took me under their wing and guided me to pastures new.

It is interesting to me that I chose two very male dominated professions on which to build my earlier life: tap dancing and drumming. Perhaps there is something in that? Perhaps I set myself a struggle that I need not have had?  But like all things in life, perhaps it was these very experiences that have informed who I am now and guided me to the work that I now find so enjoyable and empowering?

Who knows?

Time will tell?

But what I do know – in this moment – is that the passage above in pure gold!

It will no doubt mean different things to different people – and that is the beauty of the written word. It can be digested and reviewed in any number of ways subject to the readers experience and expectations.

So I invite you to go back

Sit quietly.

Read it again.

Take from this wisdom whatever it is that feeds your soul in this moment.

Revel in being a woman.

Revel in the women around you.

Find strength and courage and heart and fire in the sensuality and assuredness that is your right as a woman on the planet.

Discover You.

Love You.

Be every inch of the Woman that is You.

- Christine -

Ponder life. Ponder myself. Ponder my interactions with the world around me. Ponder questions to which I may never have an answer. But nonetheless, ponder I do – as it feeds my soul and renews my energies.

It was during one such “pondering moment” that I started to meditate upon celebrity and the effects it has on our society.

In a world that celebrates celebrity and fame and so many other things, perhaps we have lost sight of our true value in the world. And that is in the interactions and impact we have on those who are closest to us. We can create such wonderful moments of joy and caring and laughter and sharing and togetherness and help and appreciation and life in every single day we are on the Planet.  And yet we seem to have lost sight of the intrinsic value in this. We seem to be oblivious to the power that lies at our very own fingertips each and every moment of every day.

Perhaps it is better to be truly, madly and deeply loved and cherished by the few who are closet to us, those who love us, and do so knowing all our flaws –  than to be idolised from afar and shallowly, by those who do not really know us, or genuinely care for us at all.

Why do we perceive “celebrity” and “fame” as some sort of Holy Grail?

Why are so many of our youth now aspiring simply to be “famous”?

Why have so many of us we become slaves to celebrity? Lapping up every inane story that the tabloids put out about the people who have reached this exalted status?

Do we really care what they ate for dinner?

Do we really care what clothes they wear?

Why do we buy into the charade?

Certainly, I am someone who loves to celebrate excellence. I love celebrating all the good in the world and appreciating anyone who has  created something of beauty or merit.

But why do we undervalue some things and put others on such a ridiculously high pedestal?

Can we not celebrate the barista who makes us a fabulous coffee every morning?

Can we not value and appreciate the cleaners who keep our pathways clean and looking beautiful?

Can we not honour all the gardeners of the world who surround us with the beauty of nature?

Can we not smile in gratitude and appreciation for the teachers who educate our youth?

Can we not applaud the efforts of our nurses, firefighters and emergency personell who put their lives on the line to keep us safe?

This list goes on and on and on.

We are all heroes to someone.

We are all heroes in our own lives.

We all have the potential to impact greatly the lives of those around us, in a positive and nurturing way.

And wow – that is a gift.

We should all feel empowered and excited by our ability to effect those around us in whatever way we choose and in whatever way is applicable to our own unique abilities and gifts.

Like a little pebble thrown into the lake of our own lives, the ripples can be huge.

Life changing.

So why do we not value ourselves and the enormous ability we have to make a difference in a positive way to those close to us?

Why do we obsess over people who are not actually in our lives at all in any real and meaningful way?

Again – it is fantastic to be inspired bzy people from afar and we all have our mentors. But surely we could also value those people closest to us and realize the huge potential that exists at the very borders of our own lives to make a huge difference.

Famous or not………..

We all matter.

We can all make a difference.

We can all have an impact.

We are all the leading lady or leading man in the film that is our life.

So, now is the time for you to focus on You.

Focus on what you can do in your immediate surroundings, to make a difference.

Realize that you do matter.

You are important.

You are intrinsic to the lives of those that matter most to you.

Those who bask in your sunlight and feel the breeze of your intention each and every day.

Those people who share you time, your thoughts and your space.

Those people who know you inside out and back to front and love you just as you are.

These are the people who inform your life and whose life you influence too.

So never ever think you do not matter – because to someone you do.

Even if that person is the most important person of all – You.

So go out into your own life today and send out ripples of love and support and hope and joy to all those around you.

Because you can be sure that you really do matter to them and perhaps this is the true essence of life, that we have left fading in the shadows of our “celebrity obsessed” existence.

Discover Your Greatness. Love Your Greatness. Be Your Greatness.

- Christine -

Truth be told however, I do not really consider any of the relationships in my life to be toxic and that is the point if this blog.

Sure  – some relationships are not healthy if they are allowed to fester and continue on, in an abusive or non-productive way. The key when faced with this sort of  dynamic, is to recognize it, learn from it and get the hell out. Even the most pleasurable of relationships can “run their course” and suddenly find a need to be discontinued for a plethora of reasons.

No matter what the relationship: familial, social, romantic or work related, it is important to always see the intrinsic value that can be gained from looking at what that particular relationship has brought to your life experience?

What has this person taught you about yourself?

What would you like to repeat in the future?

What would you like to let go of next time around?

Human relationships are some of the most tricky, confusing, upsetting, rewarding and life affirming experiences that we can ever have. We can find ourselves very quickly loving or “not so loving” the other part of our relationship equation that is for sure. But the other thing that is a dead set certainty, is that no matter the dynamic of your friendships, romances, acquaintances and family ties they will all be lining up to teach you a thing or two about yourself.

The trickiest part of this equation is to be aware that there might be something from you to learn.

Instead of seeing things as I am right and they are wrong. Or we are so in love and he/she is just so perfect. Or I can’t believe they treated me that way etc  – take a step back and try to see the inherent beauty in the lesson that lies waiting for you beneath the surface.

It has been said that most people in our lives are reflecting back to us a partial image of ourselves. Mmmmmm – that is a little uncomfortable to hear isn’t it. So that incredibly aggravating boss, or ex-best friend, or judgmental parent, or uncaring ex-lover had traits that we ourselves have? No way! That can not be true? Or can it?

We bring into our lives people who can facilitate our growth as human beings after all. That is why we are here on this great big planet, spinning about the place with reckless abandon. We are meant to be figuring it out. Figuring ourselves out. And the best way to do that is through a series of relationships of all different sorts with different people and varying dynamics.

These are usually the most useful of all relationships.

Have you ever found yourself attracted over and over again to the same “type” of person who manages to push the same old buttons over and over again? Gee – I wonder why that is?

Heads up people.

It is a lesson.

A lesson you need to learn before you can move on to a place where you do not attract this same aggravation into your life again.

No doubt you will move on to a whole new set of aggravations ha ha ha – that is life.

There is always a challenge to be had. Life is not meant to be a series of canapés and cocktails at the yacht club. Sometimes your beer goes flat and the seagulls make off with your fish and chips. You just have to laugh it off and keep on going.

So the message here is really quite simple. No matter what the dynamic of the relationship you have with any person in your life – it is a vehicle for inner understanding and a processing of what is of true value to you.

An exercise in reflecting upon how you wish to be in the world.

The way other people treat you, relate to you, speak to you, interact with you, negotiate with you, play with you, caress you, seduce you, mistreat you, abuse you, misunderstand you, misrepresent you, support you, love you, respect you, cherish you, assist you, get to know you, follow you, betray you, help you. All these elements are a wonderful barometer of how things are going in your world.

They are a great barometer of how the world sees us.

And how we treat others, in these same relationships is a great barometer of how we see the world.

We reflect back to each other so many interesting aspects of ourselves.

Past hurts.

Past joys.

Expectations based on our history and experiences.

The key here is to really appreciate and exploit the opportunities that lie in each and every relationship we have in our lives. Whether pleasurable, painful or poisonous – they are all perfect in each and every way and exist as pure potentiality for our  growth and change.

Most of us exist in a world where we can choose to end a relationship or friendship and move on. So do not feel sad when that time comes.

Perhaps that match has come to an end?

Perhaps the lessons have been learned?

Perhaps you have finally “got it” and you are moving on to a new and exciting chapter in your life?

Perfection is often in the imperfection of all our life experiences.

Teaching us what we need to know and leading us on our never-ending journey of self-discovery.

So forge ahead everyone and be grateful for each and every lesson that comes screaming into your life, whether it creates harmony or disharmony. For each and every person that enters your domain, whether they create a world of sweet content or a whole lot of bitterness and aggravation.

The lesson will be there.

Look for it.

Find it.

Learn from it.

Can there possibly be anything better?

-Christine-

This is a topic that I have found quite fascinating in recent times, as I didn’t actually connect the dots myself till relatively late ha ha!

As we go through life we tend to be really fond of people who support what we want to do, what we say and what we think. But the truth of the matter is, that in order for us to truly develop our ideas, concepts and goals we need to have both Mr Support and Little Miss Challenge there beside us along the way.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that without these two elements of cheer squad and opposition, it would be very difficult for us to actually figure out what we truly believe in and what avenues to pursue. What we are prepared to fight for? What opinions we will defend to the end? What matters? What is the best path for us to take to get where we are going?

This thought struck me whilst defending my position and plans during a rather robust conversation one evening. My opponent was most decisive in his opinion and was striking blow for blow as we went through our paces. I must admit that I was struggling to keep up at some stages as I was battered with statistical analysis of various types and loads of facts and figures. I guess I tend to argue a point from a more emotive, humanistic or creative/artistic standpoint and the grilling I was getting was substantive. But struggle on I did. So as this was all going on, my mind suddenly wandered off and I thought to myself – “ I really care about this project and I will keep on debating this topic.  It will work. I am sure I can make it work. I want to know more of what I think can work actually. I want to know more of what my LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE for the evening thinks. He has really brought up a lot of great points and I am going to find answers to them. Mmmmmm – I hadn’t considered that etc etc etc ”

What?

It was a light-bulb moment for sure.

In that very moment, I suddenly realized the huge advantages of LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE. Sure she can be incredibly irritating to say the least – but she gets the job done.

She gets you thinking.

She takes you to the next level.

She takes you to the place of fixing the problems before they have actually shown up on your doorstep.

Without her, you would not even have considered all those unforeseen issues.

But what of MR SUPPORT I hear you scream – is he not of equal importance.

Well – indeed he is.

If all we heard was LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE in the background criticizing every plan we had and shooting down every idea that came to us, we would curl up in a little ball and just roll back quietly down the hill to where we belong. But fortunately, life has furnished us with two equal and opposite forces that compliment each other ideally and perfectly.

Whilst LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE is doing her utmost to convince us that our plans are inconceivable, unachievable and non redeemable, MR SUPPORT will be beefing it up in the corner, assuring us that we have a perfectly splendid idea that will easily make it to the Heavy Weight Division of the World Title Bout.

The challenge here is to accept and use both lots of input to get you going full steam ahead on your mission. You simply need to recognize both aspects for the wonderful gift that they are. Acknowledge that both LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE and MR SUPPORT are both contributing vast amounts to your success.

One is giving you the confidence to go forward.

The other is giving you the forethought to look at otherwise unseen problems and an opportunity to hone your responses when attacked for your project or idea.

The perfect match.

Happy Days.

If you have LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE and MR SUPPORT in your life, you are a lucky person indeed.

So look around you, and cast your eye around for people who represent both of these aspects.

If you are surrounded by “Yes Men” – a cheer squad that never dares to question your ideas or suggest alternatives – you could be missing out on honing your vision to perfection.

And if you are surrounded by “ Nay Sayers” who constantly put you down and tell you that you have no chance of achieving your vision – you could decide not to try at all.

So having both is a healthy and natural balance that can catapult you toward your goals and dreams like nothing else can.

The heavy hitters should always be in your corner.

As soon as you see one of them walk away, make sure to go find some replacements.

LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE has so much to offer and will make sure all risks are summarily accounted for. So listen, think, adjust, be flexible and take in all she has to say. You don’t have to agree – but you would be wise to listen and consider.

And MR SUPPORT – well, he will make sure you have the confidence to step out and take the plunge, despite all the questions, judgement and antagonism thrown at you along the way by LMC. He may not always be realistic – but that’s OK – he has other skills on offer. Another agenda. Giving you self-confidence, hope and an unending energy to deliver on your project.

So go out and assemble a great team.

A balanced team.

A team with both support and challenge.

And you will be on your way.

- Christine -

For the past decade, these motivations and inner dialogues are what have held my fascination, and through much soul searching via dozens of seminars, oodles of books and a good degree of spiritual seeking, I one day stumbled upon a memory. A memory that I quickly realized had been the mainstay of my existence till then – pushing me this way, and shoving me that way………most often back to where I felt I belonged!

This memory was based around one little comment. It was a simple comment made by a rather unaware dinner guest when I was a child – but it was a comment that had stuck with me for decades – buried within the depths of my mind, influencing my decisions and causing havoc quite unbeknownst to me. As I listened-in to the adult’s dinner conversation from the children’s play area upstairs in our house, I heard this one seemingly innocuous comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy – she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”!

Do I remember my parent’s reaction to this comment – no! Do I remember all the compliments and encouragement I no doubtedly received as a child – no!  All I remembered was this one defining commentary on my abilities – that related not only to my now –  but also to my future.

And the prognosis was not good.

In hind sight I can see that this comment was only referring to my somewhat average performance as a classical ballet student. It was in no way a reflection on my abilities in other areas at all. But to a little girl who dreamed of one day being a classical ballet dancer and idolised Baryshnikov. To a little girl who’s best friend was a stunning classical ballerina and destined for the stage. To a little girl whose mother was the Principal of the dancing school where she studied and an avid classical ballet fan – it was like a lightning bolt.

I mean – it is a pretty prophetic comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy, she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”

KABOOM!!

“Hit me where it really hurts why don’t you.”

That little prediction was suddenly quarterized into every cell of my brain. Imprinted in vivid technicolour and ready to offer it’s opinion of my worth, in any and all future endeavours.

It wasn’t until years later in a counseling session that this little memory resurfaced  – but the emotion that came with it was certainly punching way above its weight! The sense of wonder I felt at discovering what had been holding me back for so long and making me feel so inadequate all the time was incredible. It was like – wow!

Feelings are my go to reference these days, to determine if something is of genuine “value” to me. That is – if I have a really strong emotional reaction to something, then I know it is something for me to look at carefully. What is it triggering the reaction and why? What is there to be learned here. And if there are tears – lots of tears – I know it’s a doozy! Something that needs addressing and to be redirected along with any other non useful mail.

I started right then and there to “actively de-activate “this message and it’s lingering shadow in my subconscious. I put post-its [for which I am famous ha ha] all around my house saying: Little Chrissy can do anything she wants. Little Chrissy can be anything she wants. Little Chrissy is just fabulous as she is.

They were on my bedroom door. They were in my bathroom. They were anywhere I knew I would see them each and every day. I said it over and over and over every night before going to sleep and every morning before I got out of bed. And I began to feel a little more confident.

Little Chrissy was on the move.

Surprisingly, when I mentioned this memory to my family, no-one else had any recollection of it at all. Not even my Mother who would have been at the dining table the evening of the incident.

And this brings me to my point here.

We can all have very different memories of the same event. We all live our lives “in our heads”. We live in our perceptions of events – not actually in the event itself. And so we store memories in a way that is particular to us and our unique sensitivities.

Someone else at that same dinner no doubt stored the memory of a delightful lamb roast. And another guest perhaps stored the memory of a great after dinner conversation. And another may have stored the memory of the delightful grandfather’s whiskers hanging on the plants outside. But not Poor Little Chrissy – no –  she stored a whole lot of torment and pain that would lead to years of never giving anything a fair go for fear of “never being any good”.

Once I recognized this little story living up a storm in my subconscious, I could actively “de-activate” its message and take control. I turned the message upside down and used it to empower my life rather than disempower.

At this stage, I had been a specialist tap dance teacher in Sydney, Australia for over 25 years, so I took the proverbial “bull by the horns” , put pen to paper  and devised my very own tap syllabus Tapatak Oz. This syllabus launched in 2008 and is now in use all over Australia and overseas, with examinations and teacher accreditation held annually.

Poor Little Chrissy – she could do something after all. Who knew?

I do not tell this story to grandstand and tell you all about my prior achievements. But I tell it for one very important reason.

To encourage you all to look inside yourselves and find those moments in your own lives that may be hiding these secret triggers. Moments that may be affecting you in such a way. Mundane little comments here and there that have stuck with you and caused you to doubt yourself or sabotage your success over the years.

Now is the time to find what was said. Turn it to your advantage. And move forward.

Many old sayings are so very true and repeated for a reason

“ What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”

“ It’s not what happens to us in life that defines us – but how we react to it”

“ It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog”

So I invite you to take a look.

Find these little triggers and stories in your history.

Acknowledge them. Turn them around and send them straight out the door.

You can choose what ideas of self you hold on to.

You can choose what is valid in your life.

And you can choose what to let go of so you can move forward to where you want to be.

If Poor Little Chrissy can do it then you can too. That is what I know.

So – I hope you have found some comfort in my little story and that it has inspired you to take charge of your own triggers and put them to work inspiring you to your greatness!

We all have greatness within.

You just have to believe in it. See it. And then release it out into the world.

Discover You! Love You! Be You!

Live your Truth.

Christine