What if we could choose a different way?

What if the societal constructs that run much of the world could be rear ended and  new models and expectations built in their place?

What if there was so much more?

What if women could be seen in other ways – past their role as appendages to men,  sexual objects for the gratification of men and nurturers to all?

What if it was once a different way?

What if?

And this brings me to a wonderful book by Shirley MacLaine, that certainly poses a lot of interesting questions. The book is entitled simply: WHAT IF…

Today I would just like to share with you the final few paragraphs on Page 52

How you react to these words is fodder for your own consideration and I will not be giving my opinions here, as I feel the value in this small excerpt, as it rests in the context of this page of writing, is for you to examine your own personal response to the words.

No doubt your marital status and experience thereof will impact upon your mulling over of these words.

I found them quite thought provoking and as you can tell from my introduction they set me off on quite a few tangents of enquiry. My hope is that these word take you to your own place of self reflection and self discovery-  untainted by my own personal journey through these words.

So now – over to the incredible Shirley MacLaine:

“ After my husband and I split, I made it a point to dodge the marriage bullet. From then on, I had loving sex without commitment. I loved to work hard, and feel I have earned all I have, which is enough for the rest of my life. But mostly I am content. Content with my surroundings, my friends, my family (whom I see when I want to), and my life.

Many women friends of my age are finding exquisite happiness on their own. None of us feels alone. On the contrary, we feel free and creative to be who we are. We often have celebratory lunches (too hard to find a parking place at dinner), reveling in our freedom of aloneness.

Wake Up, women of the world! You have earned the right to be free of taking care of others. Perhaps it isn’t even your nature. Perhaps you are the true warriors of peace.”

As is always the case when I present someone else’s words for reflection, I invite you to go back and read the passage a few more times.

Let it sit with you.

Let it quietly roll about in your mind and consciousness.

Let it guide you to where you need to be – for You.

Discover You.

Love You.

Be You.

- Christine -

Turn off our laptops.

Turn off our televisions.

Turn off our i-pods, play stations and radios.

Turn off the lights.

And just be.

It is quite incredible the peace and centred-ness that can be found simply by turning off all the external “stuff” that we are constantly bombarded with each and every day.

To simply be is an amazing feeling.

The sounds of nature that you can tune into – even when living in an inner city suburb is quite overwhelming and beautiful. The connection is profound and totally different to that of connecting to a television programme or radio show.

They say silence is golden, and this is so very true if you just turn everything off.

To sit and reflect in this way can be a truly magical start to your day.

A time when your energy just settles into a beautiful rhythm.

A time when you can set your intentions and expectations for the day.

A time for reflecting upon what is important and of value to you for the day.

A time to create the feeling that you want to stay with you for the rest of the day.

I sometimes wonder at the value if sitting in front of the television before setting off for our day. In fact I rarely do these days as I have chosen to unplug at the beginning and end of each day instead.

But I do think that perhaps it is not surprising that people are so wound up and anxious on their way to work, University or school when they have had the day’s events, which tend to always be portrayed as rather negative, blasted at them for half an hour or so prior to leaving home.

Where and when can the connection and magic in your day take hold, if your morning has been spent being blasted by news and the negativities of the day?

A usual morning dose sees murders, road accidents, politics, diet products, cleaning products and stories about every other crisis or dilemma facing the world. Day in and day out it always seems to be the same. Nothing seems to change in the news cycle. I sometimes doubt we would miss much if we skipped it.

So why not do just that?

Is this morning and evening dose of negativity really informing us in any beneficial way? Is the news cycle telling us things we need to know or things that we can actively change? Is it really giving us news at all or is it really just social commentary designed to make us buy stuff to make us feel worthy, beautiful or safe as we go about our day?

Am I suggesting that you cut yourself off from the world.

No I am not. Not at all. In fact some of you may need to be abreast of world events for your work.

All I am suggesting is that a few times a week, for just a few moments you choose to

TURN OFF. UNPLUG. AND PLUG IN.

Just try it out and see how you feel.

Even as a family, you could sit for 15 minutes at the start of one day a week and just think about the day you would like to have that day. Simply sit in silence with your eyes shut. Feel your energy expanding around you. Listen to the birds and whatever other sounds pass by and think about the day you plan to have. How you plan to feel for the day.

Take a few deep breaths.

Open your eyes.

Onto breakfast.

Have breakfast around the table and discuss the day you plan to have. Feel great about the day you have planned.

And without listening to any of the reported doom and gloom of the hour simply go out into the wonderful, fun filled, productive day you have envisaged.

At the end of the day, the same thing can be really amazing.

Once you have had your dinner and the day’s activities are over.

Turn everything off.

Laptops. Computers. TV. Radio. Mobile phones. Computer games. I-phones.

You can even turn the lights out and just leave one small light on.

The sounds of the crickets and cicadas seem to reach in and grab you and you may be surprised at how early you are able to go to bed once all the artificial stimuli is gone.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Perhaps there is some truth to be found in this well -worn proverb?

If you are a regular visitor to this Blog and A Bridge To You, you will notice a flagrant use of the words maybe and perhaps in much of what I write.

This is because it is not my desire to tell people what to think.

Or what to do.

Or how to act.

But merely to present people with options and allow them to take the road of their choice.

We all have our own journeys and paths to take and no doubt you will find your own unique pathway too. But I can suggest, from my own experiences, that a few days a week of turning off all the technology and allowing yourself to re-connect to you and your own energy, can be a really rewarding thing to do.

In fact, I now turn off at about 6:00pm most nights and then do not turn back on till  about 9:30am the next day. It is not a rigid plan and sometimes I am up late working. Sometimes I watch a bit of TV in the evenings.

But most times my phone is off from 6:00pm till about 9:30am every day.

Does my world still turn?

Yes it does.

Most family, colleagues, business acquaintances and friends know that they need to make plans with me outside these times. Just like the good old days really, when you would not have dreamed of calling someone at their home after 6:00pm or before 9:00am any day of the week.

And as for emails – they are always sitting there waiting for me whenever I am good and ready!

I know that some people find this sort of suggestion quite shocking.

For some it is inconceivable.

But if you see some merit in the suggestion.  Give it a go.

You may just like it!

- Christine -

As someone who also finds it difficult to “hold her tongue” so to speak, and as someone who has an opinion on nearly everything, it does strike me as quite ironic though, that these three little words hold such a dear place in my heart.

As with many proverbs, the origin of this phrase is obscured by the passing of time, though there are reports of it dating back to as far as Ancient Egypt. The first example of it in English is said to be from the poet Thomas Carlyle, who translated the phrase from German in Sartor Resartus , 1831, in which a character expounds at length on the virtues of silence.

There is also reference to this proverb being used in relation to women in the 16^th Century with Silence being described as a “ woman’s finest garment”. As you can imagine, this third reference would not be one that I would be promoting in any way shape or form – but there it is regardless to taunt me in the writing of this article. I can only be grateful that I was not around in the 16^th Century to marvel at this type of thinking, as I do not think it would have ended well at all, to say the least.

But now, to the proverb itself and the importance or value I feel we can garner from it in the 21^st Century.

First and foremost, I feel that perhaps these wonderful three words can guide us to look inward for counsel, and encourage us to seek wisdom in the depths of our own silence. With the constant “buzzing” of our modern world coming at us from all angles and in all guises  – constantly and consistently – perhaps these three tiny words hold the key to our salvation in a world of madness and noise and confusion. Perhaps these three little words can pack a powerful punch if we take them at face value and literally and truly appreciate a little Silent Time each day.

Perhaps it is through this silence that we can hear our most treasured secrets and innate wisdom. And perhaps we have to take the time to stop and really listen. Perhaps we need to pause, and make room for the silence to expand and engulf us, to really soak up it’s true benefits. Perhaps we need to let the Silence speak to us. We need to give it time to breathe and be. We need to give it time to elaborate upon its nothingness, in order for it to show us the complete intricacies of it’s ‘everything-ness’?

This Silence is not something to be rushed, for it is in its expansion and timelessness that its true virtue can be found.

Perhaps in this space and time we need to recognize that this Silence is truly Golden.

A Golden Promise leading to our true selves.

A Golden Light shining in the darkness of our man made delusions and confusions.

A Golden Treasure waiting to be found and cultivated.

I encourage all of you to seek out this Silence and enjoy its full possibilities and promise.

In fact – take a moment right now to just sit in this Silence.

This beautiful, resounding, all encompassing Silence.

Let it eat you up and consume you. Let it take you away to another world – your Inner World. A world of peace and quiet and possibility and presence.

When you are ready – open your eyes –  regroup – reconnect -  and continue onward.

Now consider making that a regular and special part of your day.

The other aspect of this proverb that really speaks to me, is in relation to our interactions with other people.

So often, when in a conversation, we are listening to the other person speaking, but not hearing them at all. We are too busy thinking about our response. Too busy formulating our answer. Too busy figuring a way to sway the other person to our way of thinking. Too busy coming up with a witty comment to display our fabulous intellect or a way to Segway to a topic of our expertise.

But again we forget.

Silence is Golden.

If we can just silence our minds from our inward chitter chatter and silence ourselves from having to speak – perhaps we may find out something fascinating and intriguing about the other person that we did not know.

Perhaps, in giving them the time and space to speak and hold the floor, we may truly hear them and our interactions may be all the richer for the genuine attention and presence we have given to the other person in the conversation.

As I say these things however – do not think for a minute that I am an expert in reigning in of my own chatter. I am notorious for “not listening” to people and drifting off to some other place when others are speaking.  Unfortunately for me, my face is quite expressive and it is not too difficult for people to tell that I have no idea what they have just said when this occurs.

As with most of us – this distraction seems to reveal itself mainly when I am conversing with family.

Why I do not know?

With friends, acquaintances and clients I am known for being the exact opposite. 100% fully engaged and committed to the conversation. But put me with family and I can suddenly drift off into another time and place, looking blankly at a pillow or a wall.

So the point here is that we all, most likely, have some times, places and people with whom we can exercise this proverb and activate our own silence to the betterment of the situation at hand.

For our betterment and introspection when engaging with ourselves and our Inner World.

For the betterment of those around us to allow them to be fully heard when they are trying to communicate and share themselves with us.

In the end, I think perhaps that much can be learned about ourselves and about all those around us from taking on the role of Observer.

Silent Observer.

Silent Listener.

Silent Seeker of this Golden Treasure.

So once again – I invite you to take this concept and run with it in your own life.

See if it works for you.

Be aware of You and how You are in the world and in Your space.

Wishing you lots of nothing-ness and everything-ness.

Discover. Love. Be.

- Christine -