And then it struck me as I lolled delightfully in my comfy little bed, that our lives are really like a boat.

They are geared naturally to take us somewhere, but unless we jump on board and set sail to harbours new, we are not going to go anywhere.

And whilst it is nice to watch your little boat sitting comfortably by the shoreline, you simply can not maximise it’s output or use it to it’s full extent, if you never actually get in it and take it for a spin in the surrounding waters.

And thus is your life.Your life is just like this little boat.

Sure it is nice and safe sitting idly by the shore’s edge, tied to the dock – but is it really fulfilling its true potential?

The answer is of course not.

You have to actively get into your life  - your little boat – and steer it to where you wish to go.

Around corners, out into deep waters, back into the shallows, out for a spot of fishing, a day out on the lake with friends, or a few hours practicing your artful manouvering to capitalise on all the boat has to offer.

This is the only way to evaluate the potential of your little boat – your life – what it is capable of and where it can take you.

You can theorise all you want, about it’s possibilities, it’s ability to float and navigate deep waters and bring joy to your life – but nothing will ever beat practical application and a hands on approach.

Life is no different.

I can certainly say from personal experience of my own little boat that I have:

* left the shore without adequate supplies and developed extreme hunger

* chosen the wrong trip for a boat my size

* upgraded to a ship too early and been out of my depth

* lost my proverbial oars into the ocean

*taken on water and and capsized

* misjudged the current capacities of the aforementioned boat and got into real trouble

* lost a few friends overboard

*navigated myself into treacherous waters which proved rather scary

But I have equally

*found the where-with-all to get out of some sticky situations

* had some marvellous afternoons quietly rocking on the water’s surface with a delightful lilt and sense of pure joy and satisfaction

* experienced some fantastic fishing trips

* learned to sail in all sized boats

* navigated my way to some pretty exotic, adventurous and fun places that only my little boat could take me

So you can see that you have to experience life personally to learn from its challenges and hone your life skills.

You have to take your boat out onto the water – and no-one else can do it for you.

Each little capsize is a lesson well learned, and a mistake – or rather misstep, that you will not make again. But if you little boat was left by the shore, you would be no better sailor and navigator today than you were a year ago, or ten years ago for that matter.

Capsizing is the sign of a life well spent.

A sign of lessons well learned.

A sign of knowledge that has been harvested and stored away for when it is needed.

So with each faltering expedition out onto the ocean in your little boat, be proud and courageous and learned. For you have succeeded in facing your fears, charting new territories and learning the inevitable lessons that come your way.

And for those seafarers amongst you, who are used to sailing out of the safe harbour, you will know the tremendous satisfaction that comes from both success and failure alike.

Success – a testament to a lesson well learned

Failure – strangely also a success, as it pin points and directs you effortlessly to the next challenge to be tackled. The next lesson to be learned and problem to be conquered.

So – you see it is a WIN WIN SITUATION.

Who knew?

We have been led to believe in this crazy world in which we live, that success is success and failure is failure.

Well nothing could be further from the truth.

Success sometimes comes with few lessons at all – so is it really success if gotten with no real knowledge and progress?

And failure? Failure can be a road to success with understanding and depth…….perhaps masking the real benefit of it’s experience.

For without initial failures and problems, you would have no appreciation of all you have achieved and even less understanding of how all the pieces in the puzzle fit together.

Failure brings with it invaluable knowledge to store for future use.

Success brings with it confidence to continue on and cast your boat a little further out into untested territories.

Both serve an invaluable purpose.

But neither can exist, if you do not jump enthusiastically into your little boat and steer it away from the safe harbour and into a brave new world.

You have been given this little boat – but only you can climb aboard and sail away into the possibility and adventures that await you.

So – for the next few days, I invite you to examine your little boat and if it is not already in the water and packed with supplies to go somewhere you have always wanted to go, I suggest you get prepared and plan to sail away for a little trip.

Choose your trip and companions wisely.

Choose the supplies you will need.

Let someone know where you are going so you have backup should you need it

Choose the waters into which you will sail and set your departure time…….

And then GO GO GO!

SAIL AWAY and live your life.

Get in that boat.

Chart your course.

Take the chance and set your aim.

You may just discover how invigorating it is to be a willing and pro-active participant in your own life.

The captain of your own ship. A seafarer extraordinaire. An adventurer of the high seas. A fisherman on a quiet lake.

The Master of your own Destiny!

#Discover You. #Love You. #Be You

Christine

“ I should have had the beef”

“ I wish I had ordered the chicken”

“ I knew I should have had the lamb”

These were all regular and constant refrains – much to the consternation and aggravation of my ever-suffering dinner companions and family members.

To say I was an irritating dinner guest would have to be an understatement ha ha ha.

Move forward a few years and look at me now. I am simply full of aplomb and no regrets when ordering a meal. It is a wonder to behold.

So how did I move forward from this fear of decision-making?

How did I make the all- encompassing leap to take a chance on a steak dinner without breaking into a sweat?

The answer is relatively simple.

I finally realized [again some of my family would argue that they are still waiting for me to fully actualize this concept in my own life ha ha ha ]  – that decisions are actually the brightness in our day – not the darkness.

Decisions are what point out that we actually have options in most things that we do.

Decisions are the most acute form of power that we have in our lives.

Decisions bring colour and movement into our days.

Decisions are gold!

So – it may just be whether we are having the chicken or the fish – but no matter how small the decision is, it gives us the right to choose. To add something different to our routine. To change it up a bit. Or leave it the same.

The choice is yours.

Living in Australia I am even more cognizant of the luxuries constantly surrounding me when it comes to making decisions.  Despite being a woman – I can go where I want, when I want, whenever I choose.  I can speak my mind and choose my own clothes. I can go out where I want, when I want and with whom I want. And this is not a luxury afforded all women, children and people of the world. So apart from the colouring in of my day that making a decision affords me, I now also realize that it is a right and luxury not extended to everyone on the planet unfortunately.

So – where once I used to become frustrated by decisions. I now see them as an incredible tool to colour my life and exercise my free will. Whether that be in ordering a meal or taking on decisions of more importance.

Decisions = Choice = Opportunity = Gold.

The other thing I finally realized is that there are no bad decisions.

There are just decisions.

They do not require an adjective to describe them.

Decisions are simply a wonderful function that direct us to a new place. A new path. Or maybe back to an old, familiar well worn trajectory.

As long as you are moving, learning, travelling down one of life’s many options – all is good. If you come to realize that the path chosen is not the best for your tastes, then simply change course. Find another path. Make another decision.

If you do not wish to be at the beach anymore, then seek out a forest.

If you are tired of eating fish and chips, go get yourself a steak.

Nothing in this life is set in concrete. Everything is a variable. And this is what makes our lives exciting and challenging. This variable. This unknown. This choice. This opportunity to make a decision and take the reigns on our existence.

Imagine what the world would be like if there was no power of choice? And nothing to choose.

No variables. No change.

Imagine you were born with a certain group of friends, lived in a certain town, had certain beliefs, and you knew with a certainty that these could never change. You knew that every day would be the same, day in and day out with very little chance of new experiences coming your way. Mmmmmmm – not the optimum existence for most people I would think?

And yet we tend to complain when we have to make a decision. Or when we need to make change.

Lost friends. Lost lovers. Lost jobs.

These are not bad things at all, but merely an opportunity to seek out change. This signifies that all the lessons to be learnt here are done and dusted and you need to move on to new people and new topics.

So perhaps we do not need to mourn the passing of certain friendships and situations, but rather we can embrace the opportunity it brings. And when any sort of decision presents itself, just remember there is no right or wrong.

All decisions are simply a mechanism to direct you somewhere. When you get there you can decide if you wish to continue in that direction, double back to where you started or change course completely. So try to see them as the wonderful kaleidoscopic opportunity they represent.

Decisions are colour.

Decisions are movement.

Decisions are a grand luxury not afforded to all.

Decisions are opportunity wrapped up in a great big bow.

So – next time to have to make a decision, cast your mind back to this page, consider the entire palette at your disposal and colour your world with the hues of your choice.

De-loverly Decisions.

­- Christine-

-       Unknown –

All the quotes in my blog have had a powerful impact upon my own life, which is why I share them here with all of you today. And this particular quote is one of the most poignant. Sure, we have all had moments that we wish had played out differently. Things we have said. Actions we have taken. Moments that highlight our imperfections and inadequacies, rather than our strengths and our virtues.

But that is ok.

That is just how life is.

It is often these “less than ideal” situations or moments that push us to define what we truly want from ourselves. It is these moments that push us to discover exactly who we are – the light and the dark. The good and the bad. The wise and the not so wise. It is these very moments that create our identity, sense of purpose and sense of who we are. What we can do better. What we want to achieve. Where we want to head. So in my mind, we should be as grateful for these moments as we are for the ones that go swimmingly well and leave us basking in the fabulousness of who we are.

Along with this has also come the realization, that most moments that linger with me as “ gee – I wish I could do that again” – tend to be the moments I missed.

The opportunities that I didn’t capitalize upon.

The moments that came and went.

The experiences that passed me by as I either sat in indecision, or fear, or some other form of immobilization that stopped me from participating.

Some of these things were really simple things like not going abseiling because I thought my bottom would look big as I came down the side of the cliff. How ridiculous. How sad. How completely stupid. I hasten to add that years later I did have the opportunity to go Indoor Rock-climbing and this time no such worry stood in my way and I had a fabulous time.

The message here is quite simple – loud and clear.

Go out on that limb. Follow the path to new experiences.

Dare to try.

Dare to be different.

Dare to give it a go.

Why?

Because quite simply, the opportunity may not come your way again. You may miss the chance to meet some interesting people or do something new and worthwhile.

Of course – there are opportunities that present themselves daily that may represent a most unwise choice that could seriously harm yourself or the people around you and of course these are not the opportunities to which I am referring here. Anything that represents a clear and present danger to you or those around you should be avoided and declined at all costs.

What we are talking about here, are the things we let slip by that could take us on a new course, with no real danger to life and or limb. Things that float past our reality, beckoning us forth to a new adventure. Things that are on our “bucket list” perhaps but never quite happen. Things that we always dreamed of doing.

It is funny but true, that we will most likely be disappointed by the chances we didn’t take than by the ones we did. At least when you follow through on an idea, a wish, a dream, a plan – you know the results of your efforts.

But if that dream, that vision, that idea, that plan, that promise, that invitation is left unanswered – then you will never and can never know what might have been.

Would have  – could have – should have – are the most destructive and fruitless words in our vocabulary. They take you on a very short ride to nowhere.

Been there and done that are far more satisfying, even if the doing of the action cements firmly in your person that you have no intention of ever taking that course od action again. This could be said for my decision to go whale watching one wintery Sydney day. It was flat out the worst 3 hours of my life. The seas were incredibly rough and there was not a whale in sight. In fact, the only creature that made a brief appearance was a random seagull that happened past for but a moment.

To add salt to my wounds, whilst I was being violently ill over the side of the boat, making my reacquaintance with the bacon and egg roll I unwisely chose for breakfast, a Canadian couple were canoodling madly nearby. The scene was quite surreal. My sister and I beyond ill at one end of the boat whilst the Canadian Bear Grylls and his girlfriend were having a “love in” at the other ha ha ha.

Now – the point is. At least I went on that whale watching trip.

Would I do it again? Certainly not. But I am not sitting around wondering what it would have been like had I gone.

I have also been offered the opportunity to go sky diving  – twice no less.

However this is something that I have never done. And I must admit that I do sometimes sit around thinking what it would be like to jump put of a plane into oblivion at thousands of feet above land ha ha ha. So I do wonder if that is one thing I shall be disappointed in, within myself as I head to great beyond at the end of my life on the Planet.

As I said – we all have to way up in life what represents fair risk in our lives. And I am not suggesting you all run out and do crazy, risk taking activities, like sky diving or whale watching ha ha ha. I am simply recommending that you take life by the proverbial horns and get out there amongst it.

There is no longer the excuse of not having anyone to do things with, as there are oodles of social groups through which you can meet likeminded individuals and join up with them to try out some new things. Meet Up is a wonderful way to find kindred spirits of all kinds. They have groups for dancing, attending music, concerts and bands, discussing literature, watching films and documentaries that can change the world, dinner groups, drinking groups, non drinking but still having fun groups, hiking and bush walking groups, scientific groups, philosophical groups, foreign language groups etc etc . This list goes on and on -  so you can always jump on line and find some other people to enjoy some new things with you.

At the end of the day:

Only you know what is on your “bucket list “ .

Only you know what dreams live within your heart.

Only you know what opportunities you have let pass you by in the past

And only you can make a change into the future to seek, explore and discover all that you are, all that you want to do, all that you want to learn, all that you want to be and all that you want to experience.

So – make time each day to think about you. Make time each day to honour you and your dreams, your ambitions and your wishes.

Make that “bucket list” and start ticking off the items.

Make a decision to take opportunities as they come your way.

Get out and about and do some of those things you have always dreamed of doing, as one day, your time will be up.

So now – go back to the quote at the top and re-read it.

Then slowly close your eyes, listen to your heart and see what comes to your mind.

Imagine yourself dreaming, exploring and discovering.

Where is your little boat taking you?

To where are you sailing?

What adventures are you embarking upon?

What opportunities  and invitations will you not miss again?

Let your soul speak to you about what is lying dormant inside you waiting to be awoken.

Now – go – reread the quote again and I shall wait for you here. Do not open your eyes again until your heart is full of joy, full of ideas, full of excitement and full of possibilities.

Welcome back.

Now grab and pen and paper and write down exactly where you saw yourself.

Where was your soul drawing you to be?

What opportunities, activities and experiences have your name etched upon them?

Where are your sails taking you?

I can say that doing this little exercise and reading this little quote once a week or once a month can inject some purpose and drive into your life. Re-evaluate where you are at all the time, as we constantly change our minds and ideas and feelings – and that is OK too. That is simply growth.

So take the plunge and launch yourself headlong into life.

Organize those ukulele lessons. Book that trip to Machu Picchu. Catch up with that long lost friend for dinner. Accept the invitation to that seminar. Go out salsa dancing even though you are 70 and people say you are too old. Start that new cupcake business. Go hiking with a new group of like- minded people.

Just do it!

Like diving into a sea of possibility – if you don’t go in the water, you can’t experience the sweet caress of the waves or the sand beneath your feet.

As we all know. Life rewards action.

This is your time.

This is your moment.

This is your chance to move.

Discover. Love. Be.

This is all there is.

- Christine -

For the past decade, these motivations and inner dialogues are what have held my fascination, and through much soul searching via dozens of seminars, oodles of books and a good degree of spiritual seeking, I one day stumbled upon a memory. A memory that I quickly realized had been the mainstay of my existence till then – pushing me this way, and shoving me that way………most often back to where I felt I belonged!

This memory was based around one little comment. It was a simple comment made by a rather unaware dinner guest when I was a child – but it was a comment that had stuck with me for decades – buried within the depths of my mind, influencing my decisions and causing havoc quite unbeknownst to me. As I listened-in to the adult’s dinner conversation from the children’s play area upstairs in our house, I heard this one seemingly innocuous comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy – she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”!

Do I remember my parent’s reaction to this comment – no! Do I remember all the compliments and encouragement I no doubtedly received as a child – no!  All I remembered was this one defining commentary on my abilities – that related not only to my now –  but also to my future.

And the prognosis was not good.

In hind sight I can see that this comment was only referring to my somewhat average performance as a classical ballet student. It was in no way a reflection on my abilities in other areas at all. But to a little girl who dreamed of one day being a classical ballet dancer and idolised Baryshnikov. To a little girl who’s best friend was a stunning classical ballerina and destined for the stage. To a little girl whose mother was the Principal of the dancing school where she studied and an avid classical ballet fan – it was like a lightning bolt.

I mean – it is a pretty prophetic comment: “ Poor Little Chrissy, she tries so hard but she’ll never be any good”

KABOOM!!

“Hit me where it really hurts why don’t you.”

That little prediction was suddenly quarterized into every cell of my brain. Imprinted in vivid technicolour and ready to offer it’s opinion of my worth, in any and all future endeavours.

It wasn’t until years later in a counseling session that this little memory resurfaced  – but the emotion that came with it was certainly punching way above its weight! The sense of wonder I felt at discovering what had been holding me back for so long and making me feel so inadequate all the time was incredible. It was like – wow!

Feelings are my go to reference these days, to determine if something is of genuine “value” to me. That is – if I have a really strong emotional reaction to something, then I know it is something for me to look at carefully. What is it triggering the reaction and why? What is there to be learned here. And if there are tears – lots of tears – I know it’s a doozy! Something that needs addressing and to be redirected along with any other non useful mail.

I started right then and there to “actively de-activate “this message and it’s lingering shadow in my subconscious. I put post-its [for which I am famous ha ha] all around my house saying: Little Chrissy can do anything she wants. Little Chrissy can be anything she wants. Little Chrissy is just fabulous as she is.

They were on my bedroom door. They were in my bathroom. They were anywhere I knew I would see them each and every day. I said it over and over and over every night before going to sleep and every morning before I got out of bed. And I began to feel a little more confident.

Little Chrissy was on the move.

Surprisingly, when I mentioned this memory to my family, no-one else had any recollection of it at all. Not even my Mother who would have been at the dining table the evening of the incident.

And this brings me to my point here.

We can all have very different memories of the same event. We all live our lives “in our heads”. We live in our perceptions of events – not actually in the event itself. And so we store memories in a way that is particular to us and our unique sensitivities.

Someone else at that same dinner no doubt stored the memory of a delightful lamb roast. And another guest perhaps stored the memory of a great after dinner conversation. And another may have stored the memory of the delightful grandfather’s whiskers hanging on the plants outside. But not Poor Little Chrissy – no –  she stored a whole lot of torment and pain that would lead to years of never giving anything a fair go for fear of “never being any good”.

Once I recognized this little story living up a storm in my subconscious, I could actively “de-activate” its message and take control. I turned the message upside down and used it to empower my life rather than disempower.

At this stage, I had been a specialist tap dance teacher in Sydney, Australia for over 25 years, so I took the proverbial “bull by the horns” , put pen to paper  and devised my very own tap syllabus Tapatak Oz. This syllabus launched in 2008 and is now in use all over Australia and overseas, with examinations and teacher accreditation held annually.

Poor Little Chrissy – she could do something after all. Who knew?

I do not tell this story to grandstand and tell you all about my prior achievements. But I tell it for one very important reason.

To encourage you all to look inside yourselves and find those moments in your own lives that may be hiding these secret triggers. Moments that may be affecting you in such a way. Mundane little comments here and there that have stuck with you and caused you to doubt yourself or sabotage your success over the years.

Now is the time to find what was said. Turn it to your advantage. And move forward.

Many old sayings are so very true and repeated for a reason

“ What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”

“ It’s not what happens to us in life that defines us – but how we react to it”

“ It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog”

So I invite you to take a look.

Find these little triggers and stories in your history.

Acknowledge them. Turn them around and send them straight out the door.

You can choose what ideas of self you hold on to.

You can choose what is valid in your life.

And you can choose what to let go of so you can move forward to where you want to be.

If Poor Little Chrissy can do it then you can too. That is what I know.

So – I hope you have found some comfort in my little story and that it has inspired you to take charge of your own triggers and put them to work inspiring you to your greatness!

We all have greatness within.

You just have to believe in it. See it. And then release it out into the world.

Discover You! Love You! Be You!

Live your Truth.

Christine

Blame the past.

Worry about the past.

Wish to change the past.

But let’s face it. The simple fact is that there has never been a more futile endeavor than sitting about contemplating our past failings…..or successes for that matter.

We live in the now.

We live in the present.

And the only thing we can really control is how we choose to act in the here and now.

If there is one thing I am striving to delete from my experience at this present time, it is regret.

It is the most futile of emotions.

The most futile of places to be.

The most ridiculous waste of time, when all is said and done.

As the great saying goes:

“What’s done is done and can not be undone”

So all we can do is focus 100% on the present.

Create actions and thoughts in this present moment, that can take us through to the next moment in a positive and empowered way. Positive actions today can certainly become the positive habits of tomorrow – all you need to do is let go of the past and swing full throttle into the present.

I must confess that I used to be very much a “regret laden” individual. This is a fact that any of my family members will attest to. Constantly asking –

“ But what if I had done that?”

“ Did I miss my opportunity by not taking that job?”

“ Should I have accepted that offer or that project?”

“ My life could have been so much different if only blah blah blah”

Well you know what!

You didn’t. And it is not. And it won’t be.

I am sure you all know someone who suffers from this condition.

This What if, If only, It should’ve been this way disease.

And it is painful to listen to in the extreme. I know because I had to listen to myself for a good number of years ha ha ha ha!

But enough is enough – I can’t go on  – I can’t go on – no more! [cue song and dancing girls]

I certainly do not have the answers to all of life’s big questions, but I do know this.

Spending your time basking in the unanswerable and unquantifiable world of “what if” is a sure way to nowhere but misery with a capitol M!

So – if this is you. Stand up right now. Look in a mirror and say simply:

“Enough is enough. You didn’t. You’re not. It’s not. It won’t be. You aren’t”

Now wave Bye Bye to that whinging, complaining slave to the past…… and be free!

Too easy!

That is it! Simple!

Decide right here and right now to move forward. To be present.

Now go forth and create a new reality, based on what you can actively do today to get where you want to be – today.

Start where you are now. Right now. And just build on it one little step at a time each and every day.

You might be surprised at just where you end up. But you have to start from where you are now, without regrets and without looking back at every missed opportunity, or misread adventure in a negative light.

We all have them.

Things that we perceive as mistakes.

Mis-steps.

Mis-haps.

Mis-adventures.

Missed opportunities.

Mis-calculations.

But perhaps – just perhaps – all these so – called unfortunate, regrettable incidents in our lives are the ones that we have learned the most from. Perhaps many of these things are what have brought us to where we are today. Perhaps these are the things that have forged understanding and compassion within our souls. Perhaps they are things that we actually really enjoyed, if we were honest with ourselves. Perhaps these “regrets” are what build our character and inform our mission and purpose in life, as we go forward. Perhaps they should be relished, cherished and used, as a force for good in our lives -their work already accomplished and done in the past.

We are after all, the sum of all we have experienced. And every moment of our lives has brought us to where we are today! Every moment whether perceived as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative has brought us to where we stand right now at this very minute. And perhaps we need to simply trust the process. Trust a higher order of things.

Perhaps regret really stands for:

Really

Easy

Growth

Reserved

Especially for

Today

Like I said earlier. Regret as we know and perceive of it, is a wasted emotion.

A road to nowhere.

An empty boat.

So the choice is yours.

Either move forward and give regret the flick. Or move to a place where your perception of it takes on a more positive and helpful connotation.

- Christine -