Addiction leads to restriction and there’s no way around it.

Well hello there and welcome to Tuesday,

Today I want to tackle a really difficult topic and that is one of addiction.

No doubt most of you are reading this and thinking somewhat smuggly – ” well that counts me out, I don’t have any addictions. I am all good thanks. Nothing to see here.”

……..but what if you do?

And what if these addictions are affecting your life in ways you are not even aware of?

What if you have certain compulsive behaviours that you can not really explain?

What if there are things you do that you can not seem to stop?

What if you do have an addiction after all?

Well – what I can tell you for sure, is that from my understanding at this time, most of us  have an addiction of some sort or other. It is that simple.

And whilst some people’s addictions are considered more harshly than others by our society, rest assured that we all have some sort of addiction. It is simply part of our human DNA.

A coping mechanism. An avoidance mechanism. A “let’s not look at that” mechanism.

So –  does your addiction matter if it is doing you no harm?

That’s for you to decide.

And – that’s what I want to touch upon today –  as perhaps the damage is where you least expect it?

 So what got me thinking about this topic in the first place?

Well – in recent weeks I have been challenged to look at my own addictions……… and of course I claimed to have none at the beginning of the process. Mainly because I did not really understand what an addiction was and had a very narrow view of what could be classed as ” an addiction”.

One great definition I read recently is this:

Addiction is basically a compulsion to use a certain substance or participate in certain behaviours in order to feel good [ or sometimes to avoid feeling bad ].

Wow – that changes the parameters somewhat doesn’t it? Any compulsive habit that ‘s used to make you feel good…….. or not bad!

So I invite you to read that definition again and really let it settle with you. Give it some thought and notice what habits immediately spring to your mind as you read. Your immediate, unfiltered reaction will most likely be the most revealing and truthful – and ultimately the most helpful to you.

And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out from just looking around the world we live in, to make quite the list of what could be considered an addiction, if practiced compulsively. Here’s just a few to think about:

1. Alcohol

2. Smoking

3. Drugs

4. Going to the gym

5. Having cosmetic surgery or procedures

6. Sugar

7. Shopping

8. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram / Social Media

9. Television

10. Reading

11.Helping others

12. Baking

13. Eating

14. Coffee

15. Chocolate

16. Painting

17. Gardening

18. Travelling

And the list could go on and on and on.

Now I am not here to tell you what to do, or what not to do – I simply want to share with you, a revelation that I had when working through one of my own addictions – or what I thought could be an addiction.

Having removed that substance / activity from my daily routine, I made the rather stunning discovery that the so called ” addiction” was not the problem at all. But rather it was the underlying issues I needed to focus upon. The issues that the compulsive behaviour was masking.  The issues I avoided by embracing the addictive behaviour.

I suddenly realised that any compulsive  / addictive activity is really your soul calling out to you. Your soul screaming at you that you need to deal with something within.

“Deal with what?” I hear you ask.

Well – that is for you to figure out. Because once you do, you may just find a huge freedom that may bring with it a deeper connection to yourself – an absolute honesty – that you have never had before. When you are no longer masking you fear, pain, disappointment, anxiety, frustration, bitterness or anger with these compulsive behaviours or addictions anymore – you can actually face them head on, move through them, release them and enjoy a more balanced and “peaceful” existence.

And this peace exists within yourself.

So here’s a few easy steps to get you started:

STEP ONE:

The first step is to identify what you might be addicted to. A good clue as to what it might be, is if someone told you , you can not have that substance or engage in that activity again –  you would be very very very upset. At a loss really. Something that you will fight for and most likely something you will vow to not be addicted to – for instance you might say: ” I could stop “blah blah blah” tomorrow easy. Or ” there’s no way I am giving that up”. This could be something you are addicted to.

STEP TWO:

Cut that substance or activity out of your life for a month or so and observe what thoughts and feelings come rising to the top.

How are you usually feeling when you reach for that substance or activity?

What are you looking for when you choose that substance or activity?

What is it that you think that substance or activity represents?

For example:

Will it make you cool?

Will it make you more loveable?

Will it make you more prominent, seen, heard and respected?

Will it make people like you?

Will you seem generous to others and get their love?

Will it make you relaxed?

Will it make you more fun and sociable and funny?

Will it make you popular?

Will it make you seem intelligent and terribly clever?

Will it make you look sexy?

STEP THREE

Now once you have identified what you think this thing will do for you – ask yourself why you need to feel or have what the substance / activity is offering you?

Example: Why do I need to feel popular?

Answer: Because I felt like a real loser at school and no-one ever talked to me or invited me out to play etc etc

Example: Why do I need to feel loved?

Answer: Because I never felt loved as a child

Of course everyone’s questions and answers will be different – so just be as honest as you can with this.

STEP FOUR

Work at releasing the masked feeling and letting the trauma that created it go. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget your past hurts etc – it just means that you will find a lot more peace if you can “let it go” and “move forward”.

Obviously this is only a very quick look into what motivates our behaviour and I am certainly no psychiatrist – so if you think you have a really serious issue that needs to be discussed or needs the attention of a health care professional, I would encourage you to seek their counsel.

And if your addiction is really serious, perhaps take your time letting it go rather than trying to go “cold turkey” and again – seek the assistance of a professional therapist or support group to assist you.

The point of the article here today though, is to merely get you thinking and get you started. Because even if what you are addicted to is having a positive effect on your life physically, it may be masking some other issues that are deeply rooted and need attention.

And when you are masking your true self – when your true self is hidden within this addictive behaviour or pattern – you can never truly find the full expanse of who you really are. You will never move into the power of You. The fullness of You. The joy of You.

Your life is restricted and bound by these “masking”, “avoiding” activities and addictive behaviours.

Sure – they make you feel great and they stop you feeling bad – but at what cost?

Like the title of this article says: Addiction leads to Restriction

So why not clear it from your life?

Why not take a look?

Why not devote a month or two to figuring out why you behave the way you do?

It can be sticky and unpleasant at times – but surely well worth it in the end.

#DiscoverYou, #LoveYou, #BeYou

- Christine -