What you can become depends on what you can overcome – now ain’t that the truth.

“WHAT YOU CAN BECOME DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CAN OVERCOME”

  Anthony Douglas Williams – Inside the Divine Pattern

This would have to be one of my favourite quotes of all time, as it is quite emblematic of my own journey thus far, and as such a little poker that keeps prodding me to move forward even though I am constantly full of doubt and uncertainty.

I sometimes wonder if perhaps people read all my blog posts and think to themselves: “ Wow – that Christine really has it together”. When this thought runs speedily through my head and out the other side again, I have to laugh, as nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is this indecision and self -doubt that brought me to where I am today, as my motivation is to simply point out to everyone else, that we all feel these sorts of feelings.

It doesn’t matter how confident we may appear to the outside world, everyone I have ever met has some sort of self doubt, fear, worry etc etc

That is just how life is.

Life is meant to be a challenge.

And it  is how we meet these challenges that determines how our life pans out.

To be honest, I have usually found that those people with the most skill and experience in any area, are often the people with the most self -doubt. I have been fortunate to know and teach, some incredibly talented people in my time and I have always found that the more talented and hard working the person the least confident they are.

This irony was strange to me at first, but then it all made sense.

People who are good at what they do are usually incredibly perfectionistic and judgemental when it comes to their own work. And sometimes the work of those around them too. It is like a double- edged sword. On one had it can make for some miserable self –assessments but on the other side it creates brilliance in some way too, as the standards set are exacting.

So my point here is:  what you can become,is very much defined by whatever you can overcome

As the quote says – you need to define yourself by what you can overcome as opposed to being defined by what scares or intimidates you.

As many successful people will tell you, they had no idea what they were doing when they started or launched their first ever project. But they did it anyway. Learned from those mistakes and moved on to the next project.

So what we need to do,is harness the very things that can so easily block our path and use them to our advantage. And these next two are the most common blocks we all experience.

1. Fear of failure.

Put it to bed and overcome it. Better to have tried and failed,then to not have tried at all. Trying is winning after all. Not giving your ideas a go is the real failure. A failure to believe in yourself. A failure to follow your gut and your intuition. Making yourself a casualty of your own lack of belief is really sad. I personally think there is no such thing as failure: you take the plunge and you will end up somewhere – moving you to the next step of where you are going. It may not be a full step – it may just be a little hiccup of a step. But you will land somewhere – and that somewhere will be a step across from where you were at least. Stagnation is death. Death of the soul.

2. Worry about what other people will think and say.

50% of people will love what you do and 50% will most likely hate it. That is the Law of The Universe and the Law of Averages. So suck it up and do not concern yourself with them. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do – there will always be  equal amounts of criticism and adoration. That is just how it goes. I mean, think of your favourite celebrity, or actor, or humanitarian, or activist, or writer, or singer, or scientist. It does not matter how fabulous you think someone is, there will be someone out there determined to criticize them and send a whole heap of negativity their way.  At the same time, a whole heap of positive reinforcement will come your way too. So if someone who is already way further down the accomplishment path than you can get criticism thrown at them – why can’t you?

In my own life, I have had to really dig deep to accomplish some of my goals and some things I have missed out on because I could not conquer and overcome my fears and anxieties.

My first huge life challenge was starting to learn drum-kit at age 24. I felt quite foolish walking into Billy Hydes Drumcraft, in Commonwealth St, Surry Hills at that age to have my first lesson. All the guys working there seemed so very young and pretty cool  – and they could all play drums of course. And I felt like some old and “all too late to learn woman”.

When I had my first ever ‘jam / audition’ to join a band I was so nervous that I would take too long to set up my kit ,that I spent hours at home in my lounge room, assembling and de-assembling my drum-kit. And timing myself ha ha ah! Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.  The whole thing – kick, toms, peddle, microphone in case they required backing vocals, high hat, ride! Over and over and over again, until I was satisfied I would look like I knew what I was doing. If anyone could have seen me they would have laughed and laughed. Especially all the guys at  Billy Hydes. However – I had overcome my fear of looking stupid setting up my kit and I was on my way.

Well   – I am glad I did it. One of my bands I joined ended up being played on the radio some 5 years or so later. On Nova 96.9 in a battle of the bands competition of some sort. And I will never forget driving down Parammatta Rd, listening to me – Little Chrissy [ you will remember her from some other posts ] – playing drum-kit in a fabulous little Pop band called Sugar Hit.

Unfortunately, my bravery did not last and I was not able to overcome my fear of moving to the next level and moving to a place where I could play covers regularly in paying gigs and perhaps even be a session drummer. One rejection at an audition for a Rock Covers Band and I was cactus. The other drummers had serious drum-kits with all the bells and whistles. About 4 or 5 toms set up on a very impressive rack and I just had my trusty 5 piece black Pearl Export with a crash and a ride. My confidence was gone. My audition / jam was rubbish.

All over red rover.

I couldn’t bring myself to go and “jam” again as I felt so sure I was no good.

So – that was the end of my career as a drummer.

However something of value did come out of this experience. And that was experience.

The next time I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I turned around and did it anyway.

And that was when I launched my tap syllabus Tapatak Oz.

Having the memory of “what might have been” as a drummer lurking in my memory, I determined that no matter what, I was going to write this syllabus and launch it out into the public arena.

I would not be defeated by fear. I would not give up before I even tried.

If it sold some copies that would be great.

And, if it didn’t sell?

No worries – I had allowed for my investment capitol to be lost.

At least I would know that I had tried and given it my best shot.

But as it happened, it did sell. And sell well. Obliterating all my expectations.

Not only did it sell in Australia, but I now have clients all over the world from Dubai to Finland to USA to New Zealand to France and Italy and Singapore.

Examinations and teacher Accreditation are also running throughout Australia.

To be honest – I don’t know if I thought I would ever sell any of this syllabus, even though I believed 100% in the quality and effectiveness of the product and still do.

It is great.

But I just had to try.  I could not face another “drumming fiasco” full of  “what might have been”.

So the point is this – if I had not been able to overcome my fear of putting myself and my tap dancing education product out there, it would not exist.

Pure and simple.

What you can become really does depend on what you can overcome.

So when you are looking at what you may want to do with your life and where you may want to go, stop and think to yourself:

1. What is stopping me here?
2. How can I overcome it?
3. What are my action steps to face this fear

Then lock and load – and you are on your way.

I now have this quote above my laptop in my office where I can see it every day.

It inspires me in all aspects of my life.

It guides me through new relationships, new friendships and all manner of endeavours – social, business, family, professional and personal.

It has helped me conquer my fear of flying, as I realized that if I wanted to travel, I had to conquer that fear.

Life really can be quite simple sometimes.

So discover what you need to conquer to be the person you want to be and to live the life you want to live.

Discover. Love. Be. Truth.

- Christine -