The Art of Giving

It is a funny old world we live in where we are constantly bombarded with advertising telling us to show we care by buying an assortment of gifts for the people in our lives. Constantly challenged to show we care. Constantly given options of when and how to appropriately do this purchasing. Fathers Day. Mothers Day. Valentines Day. Xmas. Easter………and on and on it goes. And yet in direct contradiction to this we seem to be becoming less and less connected to the people we truly love and even less connected to those members of our communities that we do not know personally.

Perhaps we have forgotten the true art of giving. A giving that requires nothing but an awareness of our capacity to do so. A giving that can truly impact upon another person and make their day.

The giving of our time.

The giving of our attention.

The giving of our support.

The generosity of our spirit seems to be what we are missing in today’s modern world. And we are missing out big time because the beauty of this type of giving is that it pays the biggest dividends right back to you – immediately.

It leaves the giver and the receiver both feeling pretty wonderful and most of the time, all it takes is a little bit of thought. A little bit of awareness – and perhaps a little bit of stepping out of our comfort zones and making the first move.

One instance that I remember vividly was walking down Pitt St in the heart of Sydney on a busy Tuesday afternoon. I do not usually go into the city but I was attending a seminar and was walking back from lunch. As I walked down the street an old man with a big square walking frame, came shuffling very slowly and methodically towards me.  He looked so out of place. Moving so slowly, his head bowed low with such determination. People flying past him, hurriedly eating food, talking on their phones, traffic screeching past. Everyone in their own very self-important worlds.

And there amongst this chaos was this grey haired man, just quietly plodding down the street – with no acknowledgment from anyone that he was even there. It was like he was invisible. It was like he didn’t exist. And it made me feel so incredibly sad. So incredibly ashamed of what our society has become. So desperate to make him smile and make him see that someone had noticed him that busy Tuesday lunchtime.

As people continued to rush by us, I suddenly felt an urge to simply say hello to this man as he passed by.

So I made eye contact and said: “ Good afternoon – what a gorgeous day ”

That was it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing earth shatteringly witty or robust.

Nothing that required great intelligence, thought or humour.

Just a simple greeting.

This elegant and somewhat determined gentleman immediately looked to me .His eyes, which had been so full of sadness not a moment earlier, were suddenly lit up like a Xmas Tree! His face beamed with a smile that I will never forget as he responded: “ Yes – it is indeed a beautiful day.”

And that was it.

The end of our exchange.

He shuffled off out of sight and I continued back to my seminar

The whole episode took no more than 10 seconds.

But what an incredible 10 seconds they were.

Our two souls connected for that moment and I will never forget it.

I felt on top of the world.

Energized. Invincible. Useful.

I remember thinking to myself – now that is what life is about!

Sure – I am not always so self aware and giving. None of us is. But this day, I felt that I got it right.

So my challenge to you is to try and give – each and every day.

Give the gift of time and acknowledgement.

It may be to a stranger. It may be to a family member. It may be to a friend.

And you may just be blown away by how much joy you can feel in this one quick and easy  step.

Helping a stranger get their pram up a flight of stairs. Grabbing the other end of a suitcase for a traveller struggling to get on the bus. Saying hello to the person selling the Big Issue on the street corner. Smiling and saying hello as you pass a stranger in the street. Making conversation with your neighbours in the elevator where you live. Telling your local barista that you love his coffee and that he does a great job.

Taking your i-pod out of your ears and chatting with the person waiting at the bus stop next to you. Calling your Mum or Dad and having a chat for 5 – 10 minutes. Calling a friend you haven’t heard from in ages, to check all is OK in their world. Holding the door open for someone – just because. Giving up your seat on the bus or train for an older person or a woman with children who needs to sit. Helping someone carry their groceries. Baking cookies for the people at work.

This list could go on forever – but I am sure you are getting the picture.

We have been convinced in our consumer driven world, that we need to have money to give. That we need to buy people stuff to show them that we care.

But the simple truth is that we all have the capacity to give the biggest gift of all.

The gift of us!

Knowing that you can impact someone else’s day so greatly and with so little effort is a truly empowering thing.

So feel great about being you. You have the power to make someone else’s day. And it doesn’t have to cost you a thing.

All you need to do is look out for those opportunities and take them when you see them.

We all just want to be seen.

We all just want to be heard.

We all just want to be acknowledged .

And the Power to Connect with another human being is all yours.

So go and exercise that power.

Give the gift of you.

It will give back to you ten fold and put a smile firmly on your face for days!

Enjoy. Give. Connect.

 

- Christine -