Drama Queen or Joy Maker? The choice is yours!

A cheery hello to all,

Today my message is really simple, short and sweet and that is - You have the power to take control of each day in your life and actively choose how and what you want it to be.

It is not a done deal.

And then, once you take this control – you need to take responsibility for that choice.

Sounds simple right?

Well it truly is.I have recently noticed how many people expect life to be full of drama and expect each day to be full of misery and sadness and difficulty. So many people seem to talk about their lives and experience of life in such a “drama full and negative way” and then project these feelings and expectations not only out into their current day, but also into the upcoming ones too.

This just seems like madness to me…….and so depressing.

To constantly be telling people ” how busy and hectic” your day is and then follow it up with ” and tomorrow is going to be worse blah blah blah”…….. it just seems so odd to me.

I mean – where is the expectation of joy?

It does make me wonder whether or not some people actively and consciously choose this level of drama and or misery in their life?

And if so – why?

What is the pay off for that?

Because let’s face it – whether you want to admit it or not – we all have a very healthy dose of “self interest” that runs our lives, no matter how “selfless” we like to think we are. So when looking at your life and any aspect of it, I think it is always good to try and find what perceived benefit you are getting from your behaviour. Especially if it is a behaviour or state of being that you are trying to modify in some way.

So if you are constantly:

1. Complaining

2. Angry

3. Sad

4. Full of drama and rushing about

5. Whinging and moaning

….what is the pay off for that behaviour?

Because believe me you would not be doing what you are doing, no matter how negative you complain it is, if it did not also have some pay off attached.

Perhaps it makes you look busy and  you then feel important and valued?

Perhaps it keeps people at a distance and keeps you having to deal with close relationships?

Perhaps it gives you something to do and pass the time?

Perhaps it gives you attention in some way?

Perhaps it makes you so busy that you have an excuse to avoid something else?

Perhaps it makes you look popular like you have heaps of friends?

I must admit that I have recently started to notice the speed with which I walk around – and if I find myself “bustling along, in a rush, with a furrowed brow, texting as I go”  [ you know I am very busy and important, with lots of friends ha ha ah ha ]- I try to actively slow down my pace, relax, put my phone away and focus on simply walking.

Just walking.

That’s it.

No answering a text as I go to save time.

No looking at my diary, so everyone can sense my busy schedule ha ha ha.

Just leisurely walking to my next destination or appointment, with apparent ease and calm ha ha.

And I have to say, that this one conscious action, has very much changed my energy in those moments and very much altered my sense of calm too.

So simple and so effective.

I choose – to move slowly, breathe and stay in the moment – calmly. Taking in the sunshine, or rain and appreciating what’s around me in that moment.

Now – I hasten to add that I am only human and far from perfect, so there are still times when I do not do this. Times when I am stuck in traffic feeling anxious and under the pump. Or times when I do still find myself, texting as I walk or as I order something at a cafe etc. But awareness is a start.

By simply being aware that I allow myself to behave in this way, I can change it.

I can choose to be ” busy, late and anxious” or I can choose to get up earlier, leave earlier, remain calm and go at an easy pace in an easy manner”.

Most recently when paying my bill at breakfast, the waitress asked: ” so what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

At first I felt a bit like a rabbit in the headlights, a little confronted, as it was a Sunday and I had nothing planned.

My plan was in fact – no plan!

But because it was a Sunday, I felt like I should have been answering my many text messages from my many friends to come join them in a series of terribly fun adventures that I could then post on Facebook in the obligatory homage to my popularity. But the truth was that I didn’t have a long list of invitations for the day and I hadn’t planned to see anyone or do anything.

So, in that spilt second of panic I decided to tell the truth and I answered: ” Actually, I am doing nothing. I might sit on my couch for a while or read a book. Nothing planned”

Right then and there I felt strangely liberated. That I had admitted to not having a plan. I had admitted to having, on that day, a totally unscheduled, nothingness to look forward to.

A nothingness that I had chosen.

Like I had chosen – quiet.

Now I am not saying that everyone should choose “quiet” – I am just quite partial to that.

But what I am saying is that you have the power to fill or not fill your days with whatever and whomever bring you JOY.

And whatever or whomever you choose to bring into your day – take responsibility for that choice.

Own that choice.

Love that choice.

Respect your choice and live gladly with that choice.

If you bring drama – than you had better love it!

I know people who love to work – constantly.

I know people who love to travel – constantly.

I know people who love to socialise and meet up with friends – constantly.

I know people who love to be in a state of quiet and peace – constantly.

I know people who love to help other people out- constantly.

There is no right or wrong.

But recognise what it is that you bring into your life.

Recognise the agenda you set up in your life.

And then take responsibility for that.

And if you do not like it – then  use your power of choice to change it.

It is possible!

Notice what you think, say and do daily and if it is not creating the framework you want  - re-frame.

It is that simple.

So – in a nutshell, I do not accept that your day has to be the same day after day after day.

I believe 100% that you have the power to change your life and your attitude to it each and every day – but first you just have to see if you are willing to let go of the pay offs you have, for the life you have currently set up.

Are you a drama queen – or king?

Are you the “poor me” person?

Are you the constant complainer?

And do you like it?

Or are you the joy maker?

The choice is yours!

#DiscoverYou, #LoveYou, #BeYou

Christine