Your problem – or theirs?

Good morning to all and welcome back to the blog,

Your problem or theirs?

This is a very interesting question that I pose this fine morning and one that has at times, very much impacted upon my own life – and that question is:

If you will never be good enough for some people – is that your problem or theirs?

Now if you really give this matter some thought you may come to the conclusion that your answer could very much affect your happiness on the Planet and your own experience of the world, as there is nothing worse than feeling that you can never measure up to someone else’s standards.

I have always simply turned down another road, created something particular to me, that showcases what I can do and chosen to just “do my own thing” .  But you can still face that challenging nagging of other people’s judgement.

So I guess the point today, is that you can choose to simply walk your own path, be happy with that and disregard those for whom you will never be enough.

Or you can choose to sit in their judgement and suffer feelings of being “less than” for your whole life.

Instead of constantly trying to please other people, you can instead work on pleasing yourself. Being happy with yourself. Being content with who you are and celebrating all that you bring to the world.

Because, as the question itself intimates – there are some people for whom you will never be good enough for whatever reason.

I would even venture to suggest that if someone actively makes you feel like you are worthless, then perhaps it speaks more to their own insecurities than yours?

Because let’s face it – we all have them.

Some of you may cover these insecurities up with a sense of bravura and confidence and come across as arrogant ………and others of you may shrink into yourself and fail to show what you really have to offer. We all have our coping mechanisms when placed in any situation where we feel that we are not accepted, welcomed or valued.

I can almost feel my energy change and become defensive and prickly, as soon as I am thrown into a situation where I feel I am not good enough, or that the people around me are judging me to be so.

And in this situation I can see that this problem is sitting squarely and fairly on my shoulders – not theirs. So the point today is really this:

If you allow other people’s judgement to stop you from enjoying any experience fully, in the manner that you would like to, then their problem with you has then become your problem. But – if you can somehow recognise this and stay true to who you are, in the face of this criticism and judgement, then you may just enjoy the experience and make a way through.

There is an old saying that goes something like this:

The way a person treats you and speaks to you, says more about them, than it does of you.

And I am really trying to be cognisant of this now, in my life –  as both the “treatee and the treater” so to speak.

So today I invite you to reflect upon some questions:

1. How do I make other people feel when I am around them and interacting with them?

2. How do other people make me feel ?

3. Is there anyone who really makes me feel less than the wonderful human being that I am? And if so – what strategies can I employ in the future to turn this around and take back my sense of self in these situations?

Because at the end of the day, as I always say – the only acceptance that is really of value to you is self acceptance.

For in the seat of self acceptance you will find the seat of your soul. That place where you truly acknowledge, understand and love the person that you are.

And with that self acceptance and self love comes permission to truly express yourself freely and joyfully and truthfully in every moment, in every situation and in every way. And our job on the Planet is really just to find this joy.

Our job is to be in a constant state of wonder and joy and self expression.

Our job is to love and accept who we are.

And our job is to allow everyone else around us the same privilege.

So – on this joyous Tuesday morning I invite you to reclaim You and let anyone’s “non – acceptance” of you become their problem – not yours.

#DiscoverYouLoveYouBeYou

#MakeJoyTheNewBlack

Christine