The truth from your soul can set you free – but you have to do the digging first.

Welcome to the blog on this cold and rainy Friday morning,

Today I want to share with you a topic that I have been delving into quite deeply over the past few months – and that topic is ” why”.

Why do I do the things I do?

And why you do the things you do?

In short, I have really ramped up my investigations into the human condition, in a quest to understand my own successes and failings, and the motivations of not only myself, but all those who I connect with on a regular basis.

In the past I have had people say to me: ” Why do you give so much thought to why people do things and why things happen? It is such a waste of time.  Why do you analyse every little thing you do?Just get on with life and you will be much happier”.

Well that may be true in the short term. But as for the long term – I am not so sure.

Now of course – I believe that everyone has the right to live their life in accordance with their own values and ideas, and if you are someone who prefers to “let sleeping dogs lie” and just get on with it – then that is your choice. But what I would like to offer here today is another option. An option that I call thoughtful living, as I have found massive benefits in digging deeper and going further.

It can be painful at times and certainly takes a level of determination and courage to look deeply within yourself. But as it is with all things in life – nothing comes for free and this self examination leads to self determination of a very different type. An informed sense of self that speaks the truth of who you really are. And this allows for the greatest sense of freedom I have ever known.

And I am only just getting started.

You may be thinking at this point: ” What do you mean by self examination?”

And – ” what exactly do you mean by self determination?”

So please let me explain.

By self examination, I mean looking deeply into why you do the things you do. Do you re-act to things with anger or irritation or sadness – or in a way that you perceive as negative? Are you volatile in certain situations? Do you sometimes drink too much and wish you didn’t? etc etc. So really you are looking at how you cope with life in general and how you cope with and react to adversity of any kind.

By self determination, I mean getting to a place where you are determining how you live your life and are in control of that, as opposed to being controlled, like a puppet, by forces from long ago that are sitting in your subconscious and affecting you daily. I mean actively taking back the control of your life, instead of being deeply motivated by remnants of your past – things that happened or things that were said that play out in your subconscious like a bad movie.

I am talking true self determination.

True control.

True respect and preference being given to You and your ideas – as opposed to defaulting to other people around you,  for whatever reason you have allowed them to influence who you are and your sense of self

So –  how can you do this self investigation? How can you start digging?

Here are a few ideas.

Firstly – simply look for situations where you react in a negative, hostile or volatile way and then examine why that really happened. Often times we blame the other person involved in the situation, whereas if we are honest with ourselves we will see that the situation is of our own making.

We often blame someone else for making us feel bad – when often times we are making ourselves feel bad.

It can be tough to admit it to yourself – but like I said – the results are worth it – so here are some examples for you from my own experiences:

1. Someone is trying to help me understand something technological and I blow up saying: ” that’s enough – I don’t need to know anymore” .

THE TRUTH = I can’t believe that I am so stupid and I can not understand this. What I am really thinking is that I am not good enough.

2.  I am getting dressed to go out and I can’t decide what to wear. Everyone else is ready and I am in a flap saying I do not know what to wear and everyone else is getting annoyed and worried that we will be late.

THE TRUTH = I am worried that I don’t look pretty enough or skinny enough next to my companions and so don’t want to go out and can not decide what to where. The anxiety increases and I am now quite irritable.  What I am really thinking is that I am not good enough.

3. I have prepared breakfast for my family members, and am now rushing about worrying about the toast not being right and causing a lot of fuss about a simple plate of eggs and the atmosphere is ruined.

THE TRUTH   = I am concerned that the eggs I have made will not be good enough and not as yummy as my peers can make. What I am really thinking is that I am not good enough

4. I am trying to book a taxi and can’t find the number. My friend does it for me, just as I manage to find the number myself. I become angry and tell them I could have done it myself, instead of simply accepting the help and saying thank you.

THE TRUTH   = I am thinking what sort of idiot can not find a taxi number and book a simple cab. I am so stupid. What I am really thinking is that I am not good enough

So – I am sure that you can see the common thread here ha ha ha – and it all comes down to feeling not good enough.

It all comes down to me and my self perception.

And whilst I am busy blaming the outside world for their apparent “judgements” that are leading me to feel this way – upon reflection and with a little digging – it is actually not true at all.

The truth of the matter is that I am creating this angst and irritation for myself.

I am creating the drama.

It is my insecurities, or memories of an unkind word years ago that I have chosen to latch onto and replay in my mind. And now that I have discovered this insecurity, I can choose to go in another direction and lighten my load.

So today I invite you to do some digging.

Why?

Because awareness is the key to change.

Once you are aware of these patterns of behaviour and from where they come, you can choose to change and then you move to this wonderful place of self determination and self mastery, where you are the captain of your own ship.

So if you have behaviours that you do not like and want to change – look deeper at what is driving you to do those things. Most likely it will come down to that little voice in your head saying:

I am not good enough.

So let me assure you today.

No matter what you have been told in the past -  You are good enough.

No matter what you have experienced in the past - You are good enough.

No matter what you have overheard  in the past - You are good enough.

No matter what you have thought in the past - You are good enough.

No matter how you have been treated  in the past - You are good enough.

And your time is now.

So dig deep. Be honest with yourself. And be the person you want to be now.

You do not have to be a slave to old hurts, insecurities or other people’s opinions.

You are beautiful and perfect and good enough just as you are

#DiscoverYou, #LoveYou, #BeYou

Christine