THE SELF SABOTAGING SELF AND YOUR WAY TO CUT THROUGH

Today I want to share with you a thought that wandered through my mind as I floated along on Sydney Harbour during my last Stand Up Paddle Boarding Lesson. As I got into a really good groove with my stroke for the first time, looked out at the incredible day and the sun coming up, I thought to myself – “You absolute idiot…. you nearly missed this incredible morning”.

Why? – because the 5:00am wake up that morning had a tinge of “winter” to it, the air was crisp and the cloud cover hung somewhat solemnly in the sky, without the promise of a sunny day ahead.  My thoughts turned to my irrational fear of being purposefully hunted down by some particularly hard core shark, being bumped off my board and being unceremoniously eaten on that crisp morn. And I felt lazy and more inclined to stay in bed. That seemed a much easier and more pleasant option at the time, all snuggled up in my bedsheets.

Three pretty good reasons to not go to my lesson I thought.

But given that I am a fairly reliable / honour your commitments type, I dragged myself out of bed, threw on my togs [ that's Australian for swimsuit ] and headed out into the rather cold morning air. I have to say I was not at all inspired and was wondering to myself: “Why, oh why do I book these things?”, as I wrapped my jumper around my very cold self. I got in the car, pumped up the heating and set off for the 30 minute drive across town. Once at my lesson, I felt even less motivated to be honest, as I prepared to throw my freezing little body into the water and on the board.

Again my mind asked: ” Why, oh why would you go into the water on a freezing wintery morning like this?”

But I managed to, somewhat reticently, follow my instructor down to the water’s edge, trying to look enthused and excited as a dutiful student should – but secretly dreading the 1.5 hours that lay ahead.

And then before I knew it – we were in the water and setting off at quite the pace.

Within a few strokes of my paddle I noticed that I was much more relaxed than usual and a strange calm was within me. My instructor decided to take me out further than before and that we would try to go faster, longer and stronger too………I suddenly felt inspired, invigorated and up for the challenge.

Stroke after stroke I seemed to find my stride and as we rounded some new bays in the harbour I felt an enormous pride, joy and satisfaction.

Proud that I had gotten out of bed.

Proud that I had conquered my fears and got back on the board and back out in the ocean.

Proud that at 45 years of age I was learning a new skill.

Proud that I had taken advantage of this incredibly beautiful day and seized the moment.

Joy in the moment and the casual, easy going conversation with my instructor.

Joy in the harbour.

Joy in just being alive and being able to experience such a glorious morning in such a stunning way.

Joy that nature would provide such a spectacle for me to enjoy.

Satisfaction that I was there.

Satisfaction that I had done it all myself.

Satisfaction in how far I had come in this new endeavour.

Satisfaction in how far there was still to go and the opportunity, excitement, growth and joy I knew that promised.

And then, as we headed back to our starting point, the sun shone in my eyes in a moment of absolute glory, brilliance and encouragement as it rose up to greet the day……..and that is when the thought wandered into my head:

” Wow – you idiot – you nearly missed this incredible experience this morning”.

And this  brings me to point of this story.

The realisation that came to me.

The “ah- ha moment” as Oprah would say.

I suddenly realised that often times the greatest barrier to me is in fact………ME!

Yes  -me. Who knew.

That self sabotaging self, lurking in the background of my life, ready to jump out whenever the slightest difficulty, unfamiliarity, self doubt, inconvenience, or ir-rationalization of a situation allows.

And given that we all have the same sort of life experiences, in order to learn the same sort of things, this in turn means that - often times the greatest barrier to you, in your life is in fact………YOU!

So now that I have clued you in to this great secret, you will be able to recognise the signs and get out of your own way, to allow yourself to live and enjoy the world at 100% full throttle.

Learn to step aside, recognise and neutralise yourself, when any of that laziness, insecurity, self doubt,  fear, stubbornness, self criticism or self defeating attitude comes strolling out of the murky depths of your being, to ruin what may have been a perfectly good plan, to have a perfectly wonderful day or experience.

Step aside.

Get out of your own way.

Allow yourself to fully realise the potentiality that resides within you and say NO to the kill joy lurker hanging on the sidelines of your life.

NO – to giving up on your passions, dreams and fun

NO – to feeling embarrassed in new situations

NO – to cancelling something because you feel a little fearful or worried about trying

NO – to not giving it a go because you can’t be bothered

NO – to all those things.

Let’s make a habit of YES.

YES – to life.

YES – to new things.

YES – to giving it a go

YES – to new people, new places and new things

YES – to that amazing sunrise and the cold morning air

Because life is what you make it – that’s for sure.

And it is equally what you “don’t make it” – so let your inner self bubble to the surface and don’t miss out because YOU got in the way of your own life.

Why? Because it just doesn’t make sense ha ha ha.

And on that note – I invite you to go out and do something fabulous for YOU today – whatever that may be.

#DiscoverYou #LoveYou #BeYou #SayYesToYou……and have a sensational time in the process.

- Christine -