This is a topic that I have found quite fascinating in recent times, as I didn’t actually connect the dots myself till relatively late ha ha!

As we go through life we tend to be really fond of people who support what we want to do, what we say and what we think. But the truth of the matter is, that in order for us to truly develop our ideas, concepts and goals we need to have both Mr Support and Little Miss Challenge there beside us along the way.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that without these two elements of cheer squad and opposition, it would be very difficult for us to actually figure out what we truly believe in and what avenues to pursue. What we are prepared to fight for? What opinions we will defend to the end? What matters? What is the best path for us to take to get where we are going?

This thought struck me whilst defending my position and plans during a rather robust conversation one evening. My opponent was most decisive in his opinion and was striking blow for blow as we went through our paces. I must admit that I was struggling to keep up at some stages as I was battered with statistical analysis of various types and loads of facts and figures. I guess I tend to argue a point from a more emotive, humanistic or creative/artistic standpoint and the grilling I was getting was substantive. But struggle on I did. So as this was all going on, my mind suddenly wandered off and I thought to myself – “ I really care about this project and I will keep on debating this topic.  It will work. I am sure I can make it work. I want to know more of what I think can work actually. I want to know more of what my LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE for the evening thinks. He has really brought up a lot of great points and I am going to find answers to them. Mmmmmm – I hadn’t considered that etc etc etc ”

What?

It was a light-bulb moment for sure.

In that very moment, I suddenly realized the huge advantages of LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE. Sure she can be incredibly irritating to say the least – but she gets the job done.

She gets you thinking.

She takes you to the next level.

She takes you to the place of fixing the problems before they have actually shown up on your doorstep.

Without her, you would not even have considered all those unforeseen issues.

But what of MR SUPPORT I hear you scream – is he not of equal importance.

Well – indeed he is.

If all we heard was LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE in the background criticizing every plan we had and shooting down every idea that came to us, we would curl up in a little ball and just roll back quietly down the hill to where we belong. But fortunately, life has furnished us with two equal and opposite forces that compliment each other ideally and perfectly.

Whilst LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE is doing her utmost to convince us that our plans are inconceivable, unachievable and non redeemable, MR SUPPORT will be beefing it up in the corner, assuring us that we have a perfectly splendid idea that will easily make it to the Heavy Weight Division of the World Title Bout.

The challenge here is to accept and use both lots of input to get you going full steam ahead on your mission. You simply need to recognize both aspects for the wonderful gift that they are. Acknowledge that both LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE and MR SUPPORT are both contributing vast amounts to your success.

One is giving you the confidence to go forward.

The other is giving you the forethought to look at otherwise unseen problems and an opportunity to hone your responses when attacked for your project or idea.

The perfect match.

Happy Days.

If you have LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE and MR SUPPORT in your life, you are a lucky person indeed.

So look around you, and cast your eye around for people who represent both of these aspects.

If you are surrounded by “Yes Men” – a cheer squad that never dares to question your ideas or suggest alternatives – you could be missing out on honing your vision to perfection.

And if you are surrounded by “ Nay Sayers” who constantly put you down and tell you that you have no chance of achieving your vision – you could decide not to try at all.

So having both is a healthy and natural balance that can catapult you toward your goals and dreams like nothing else can.

The heavy hitters should always be in your corner.

As soon as you see one of them walk away, make sure to go find some replacements.

LITTLE MISS CHALLENGE has so much to offer and will make sure all risks are summarily accounted for. So listen, think, adjust, be flexible and take in all she has to say. You don’t have to agree – but you would be wise to listen and consider.

And MR SUPPORT – well, he will make sure you have the confidence to step out and take the plunge, despite all the questions, judgement and antagonism thrown at you along the way by LMC. He may not always be realistic – but that’s OK – he has other skills on offer. Another agenda. Giving you self-confidence, hope and an unending energy to deliver on your project.

So go out and assemble a great team.

A balanced team.

A team with both support and challenge.

And you will be on your way.

- Christine -

Sometimes it just seems easier to whinge and wallow. But is this really helping the situation? Perhaps not?

The molehill does not always have to turn into a mountain.

Infact – nothing in insurmountable. Nothing is a problem. Just a different pathway to where you are going. A little less comfortable perhaps. A less familiar path. But why not just “live on the edge “ a little?

Be happy to explore new things. New possibilities. Not for any reason – just because you can. So your life has gone a little off course. Perhaps it was meant to – and when you look back and see the bigger picture you will be happy that you turned off the road when you did.

Perhaps the reward is in the doing. Perhaps the reward will be in the trusting.

Just because.

At these times of challenge, stay alert to all the goodness in the world. Switch off to the negative, because you just do not need it.

Glow. Glitter. Radiate your knowing and trust, that everything will be OK out into the Universe.

Be open to the possibilities.

What possibilities?

Do not bother yourself with such details all the time – as when the time is right all will be revealed to you. When the time is right the possibility will arrive at your doorstep in a blaze of glory, like a knight in shining armour, beckoning you forth to a brand new space, a brand new day, a brand new you and will provide you with all the guidance you need to embrace this new time, this new experience, this new moment.

You just need to trust and to surrender to it.

Contemplation can be a wonderful thing – but nothing beats just getting out there and doing it. But don’t get ahead of yourself and bog yourself down with superfluous questions. They will bog you down like quicksand.

Rise above your questions and let the reality of existence show you in real terms the path that is yours. Be true and honest and nothing can stand in your way.

Light the path.

Water the seed.

Follow the yellow brick road.

Know that if you are doing something, that it is your Destiny and You are learning something invaluable from it.

Learn the Lesson.

Embrace the Light.

Love the Process.

Look for no reward.

The reward is the process.

Try the new and the unexpected.

Dare to fail.

Dare to not care what others think.

Dare to simply be.

No reasons. No excuses. No explanations. No need.

Just Be.

This is the key to a joyful experience on the planet. A place that abounds with exotic, wild, joyous, intoxicating and humbling experiences.

So next time your world seems to not be going to plan, take a step back. Take a deep breath and trust that all will be OK. Be open to other possibilities that you may not have considered before. Take action to rectify the situation – but remain open and flexible to things you may not have considered before.

I am sure we can all agree that hindsight is a wonderful thing. So think back to another occasion in your life when everything went “pear shaped” but yet years on you realized that it was the best thing that could ever have happened to you. This is so very often the case and we can sometimes look back and think “ I can’t believe how upset I was over that when in fact it turned out to be he best thing that ever happened to me”.

I can think of at least four occasions in my own life, when I felt truly devastated by the turn of events in my life, but then years later I thanked my lucky stars that the apparent misfortune befell me. It is incredible how so often the best of Good Fortune comes to us masquerading as Sad and Sorry Days of Grief and Woe.

So – keep a level head and a clear mind. For as sure as the nights are long – the next day will turn up and life will go on no matter what your attitude to it. So you might as well, employ an element of trust that all will work out for the best and step into each day with hope, positivity and possibility.

And that is the key.

So many people simply do not allow for the possibility of things going well.

They do not allow for the possibility of a negative situation turning into a positive one.

They do not expect anything good to come from a perceived “bad” situation.

As I have said in previous posts. You can only manifest in your life what you can conceive of. So conceive that this dastardly occurrence in your life may actually have some lesson, positive outcome or tipping point that is going to change your life or impact your life in a meaningful and or positive way.

If you want possibility to exist in your life than you have to open the door to it and beckon it in.

Like anyone or anything, if you slam the door in the face of possibility all the time it will stop coming to call and the doorbell will remain un-rung.

So next time there is chaos in your life take a different stance.

Look for the lesson.

Choose the best path available.

Be open to possibilities that you may not even have considered and trust that the best option will be made clear to you.

Discover. Love. Be. Trust.

-Christine-

  Anthony Douglas Williams – Inside the Divine Pattern

This would have to be one of my favourite quotes of all time, as it is quite emblematic of my own journey thus far, and as such a little poker that keeps prodding me to move forward even though I am constantly full of doubt and uncertainty.

I sometimes wonder if perhaps people read all my blog posts and think to themselves: “ Wow – that Christine really has it together”. When this thought runs speedily through my head and out the other side again, I have to laugh, as nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is this indecision and self -doubt that brought me to where I am today, as my motivation is to simply point out to everyone else, that we all feel these sorts of feelings.

It doesn’t matter how confident we may appear to the outside world, everyone I have ever met has some sort of self doubt, fear, worry etc etc

That is just how life is.

Life is meant to be a challenge.

And it  is how we meet these challenges that determines how our life pans out.

To be honest, I have usually found that those people with the most skill and experience in any area, are often the people with the most self -doubt. I have been fortunate to know and teach, some incredibly talented people in my time and I have always found that the more talented and hard working the person the least confident they are.

This irony was strange to me at first, but then it all made sense.

People who are good at what they do are usually incredibly perfectionistic and judgemental when it comes to their own work. And sometimes the work of those around them too. It is like a double- edged sword. On one had it can make for some miserable self –assessments but on the other side it creates brilliance in some way too, as the standards set are exacting.

So my point here is:  what you can become,is very much defined by whatever you can overcome

As the quote says – you need to define yourself by what you can overcome as opposed to being defined by what scares or intimidates you.

As many successful people will tell you, they had no idea what they were doing when they started or launched their first ever project. But they did it anyway. Learned from those mistakes and moved on to the next project.

So what we need to do,is harness the very things that can so easily block our path and use them to our advantage. And these next two are the most common blocks we all experience.

1. Fear of failure.

Put it to bed and overcome it. Better to have tried and failed,then to not have tried at all. Trying is winning after all. Not giving your ideas a go is the real failure. A failure to believe in yourself. A failure to follow your gut and your intuition. Making yourself a casualty of your own lack of belief is really sad. I personally think there is no such thing as failure: you take the plunge and you will end up somewhere – moving you to the next step of where you are going. It may not be a full step – it may just be a little hiccup of a step. But you will land somewhere – and that somewhere will be a step across from where you were at least. Stagnation is death. Death of the soul.

2. Worry about what other people will think and say.

50% of people will love what you do and 50% will most likely hate it. That is the Law of The Universe and the Law of Averages. So suck it up and do not concern yourself with them. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do – there will always be  equal amounts of criticism and adoration. That is just how it goes. I mean, think of your favourite celebrity, or actor, or humanitarian, or activist, or writer, or singer, or scientist. It does not matter how fabulous you think someone is, there will be someone out there determined to criticize them and send a whole heap of negativity their way.  At the same time, a whole heap of positive reinforcement will come your way too. So if someone who is already way further down the accomplishment path than you can get criticism thrown at them – why can’t you?

In my own life, I have had to really dig deep to accomplish some of my goals and some things I have missed out on because I could not conquer and overcome my fears and anxieties.

My first huge life challenge was starting to learn drum-kit at age 24. I felt quite foolish walking into Billy Hydes Drumcraft, in Commonwealth St, Surry Hills at that age to have my first lesson. All the guys working there seemed so very young and pretty cool  – and they could all play drums of course. And I felt like some old and “all too late to learn woman”.

When I had my first ever ‘jam / audition’ to join a band I was so nervous that I would take too long to set up my kit ,that I spent hours at home in my lounge room, assembling and de-assembling my drum-kit. And timing myself ha ha ah! Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.  The whole thing – kick, toms, peddle, microphone in case they required backing vocals, high hat, ride! Over and over and over again, until I was satisfied I would look like I knew what I was doing. If anyone could have seen me they would have laughed and laughed. Especially all the guys at  Billy Hydes. However – I had overcome my fear of looking stupid setting up my kit and I was on my way.

Well   – I am glad I did it. One of my bands I joined ended up being played on the radio some 5 years or so later. On Nova 96.9 in a battle of the bands competition of some sort. And I will never forget driving down Parammatta Rd, listening to me – Little Chrissy [ you will remember her from some other posts ] – playing drum-kit in a fabulous little Pop band called Sugar Hit.

Unfortunately, my bravery did not last and I was not able to overcome my fear of moving to the next level and moving to a place where I could play covers regularly in paying gigs and perhaps even be a session drummer. One rejection at an audition for a Rock Covers Band and I was cactus. The other drummers had serious drum-kits with all the bells and whistles. About 4 or 5 toms set up on a very impressive rack and I just had my trusty 5 piece black Pearl Export with a crash and a ride. My confidence was gone. My audition / jam was rubbish.

All over red rover.

I couldn’t bring myself to go and “jam” again as I felt so sure I was no good.

So – that was the end of my career as a drummer.

However something of value did come out of this experience. And that was experience.

The next time I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I turned around and did it anyway.

And that was when I launched my tap syllabus Tapatak Oz.

Having the memory of “what might have been” as a drummer lurking in my memory, I determined that no matter what, I was going to write this syllabus and launch it out into the public arena.

I would not be defeated by fear. I would not give up before I even tried.

If it sold some copies that would be great.

And, if it didn’t sell?

No worries – I had allowed for my investment capitol to be lost.

At least I would know that I had tried and given it my best shot.

But as it happened, it did sell. And sell well. Obliterating all my expectations.

Not only did it sell in Australia, but I now have clients all over the world from Dubai to Finland to USA to New Zealand to France and Italy and Singapore.

Examinations and teacher Accreditation are also running throughout Australia.

To be honest – I don’t know if I thought I would ever sell any of this syllabus, even though I believed 100% in the quality and effectiveness of the product and still do.

It is great.

But I just had to try.  I could not face another “drumming fiasco” full of  “what might have been”.

So the point is this – if I had not been able to overcome my fear of putting myself and my tap dancing education product out there, it would not exist.

Pure and simple.

What you can become really does depend on what you can overcome.

So when you are looking at what you may want to do with your life and where you may want to go, stop and think to yourself:

1. What is stopping me here?
2. How can I overcome it?
3. What are my action steps to face this fear

Then lock and load – and you are on your way.

I now have this quote above my laptop in my office where I can see it every day.

It inspires me in all aspects of my life.

It guides me through new relationships, new friendships and all manner of endeavours – social, business, family, professional and personal.

It has helped me conquer my fear of flying, as I realized that if I wanted to travel, I had to conquer that fear.

Life really can be quite simple sometimes.

So discover what you need to conquer to be the person you want to be and to live the life you want to live.

Discover. Love. Be. Truth.

- Christine -