The Art of Giving to Grow!

Hello to all and welcome back to ABTY,

I recently re-read the wonderful book by Gary Zukav called ” Soul Stories”. And it provided me with so many ” ah -ha moments” as Oprah Winfrey would say.

As I have often heard many other writers say, it is amazing what you sometimes get from the re-reading of a certain book. Concepts and visions that were not overly obvious to you on the first read, suddenly leap out from the page and seem so very important. They simply demand your attention.

And even more incredibly – it is often quite serendipitous which books call to you from the shelf to be plucked from obscurity at a particular moment. That I was drawn to take this particular book back off my shelf and choose it as my companion whilst recently travelling for work, is a wonder to me.

And the lesson contained was profound. Not only in the message itself  - but also in the timing and delivery of this message.

So – what was this message that struck such a chord within?

The message can be found on page 99 of this book – mid way down.

And the message was about the act of giving. So here is a little of that page for you now:

“If you give only what is easy to give, you can’t grow. That is like giving away tomatoes when your garden is full of tomatoes. Sharing things that are important, is like giving away tomatoes when you only have a few left – and you love tomatoes.You have to care about people to do that. This is the kind of sharing your soul wants to do.”

 - Gary Zukav – Soul Stories

Wow!

These words filled my eyes with tears and my heart with love.

These words struck a chord deep within.

These words reassured me that of recent times I had been given a few very deep lessons and there was a purpose to my pain and anguish.

I suddenly felt like I had graduated from my latest classes and could see the lessons learned in some difficult situations. I felt that I was ready to move onto the next lesson and was grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow even more – despite the pain.

For what I had recently given away was huge to me. What I had given away was close to my heart. And what I had given away was truly hard to relinquish:

My need to Be Right

My need to Be Heard

My need to Be Vindicated

My need to Be Consoled

My need to Be Loved

My need to Be Acknowledged

My need to Be Important

My need to Be Considered

My need to Be Beautiful

My need to Be Someone Else’s Person of Desire and Interest

My need to Satisfy What I Wanted

These were indeed the most difficult things for me to give away.

But -I gave these things away to allow the other people involved to heal and find themselves again.

I gave these things away to try and see the situations in play from the other side.

I gave these things away to allow the other people involved to move forward how they wanted to move forward.

I let go.

I moved away.

I allowed the chasm of distance and time to grow.

So – you may be thinking right now – well when do you give away your vegetables ha ha ha ha? Have you even got a garden? I do not see any tomatoes in this story?

Well – this is the lesson I learned from those tomatoes.

Sometimes the biggest gift you can give another person is the gift of following their wishes and putting your needs aside.

The gift of space.

The gift of walking away  - or staying away.

The gift of allowing them the time and space they need for them.

And I think for many of us – this is the hardest gift to give.

The gift of letting go when you would rather hang on for all your life is worth.

Letting go of a friendship that has seen its days numbered and counted – even though you are desperate to have lunch with that person one last time.

Letting go of a sibling or family member who wishes to travel their path without you -even though you can not understand why they would not want you there with them.

Letting go of a lover or partner who has chosen a road without you on it – even though you can see a wonderful life for the two of you together and don’t want to travel your road without them.

Letting go of a child as they make their own way in the world without wanting you constantly there -even though you can see the troubles ahead and want to pave the way for them.

Letting go of a business that is no longer working -even though you are desperate for success and to have it pay back all the effort you have put in.

Letting go of a job that no longer brings you joy -even though you thought you would be in that job for your entire life when you started.

Letting go of a relationship or marriage in which you have invested decades of your time, energy, love and money but which no longer brings you or your partner any sense of self and gratification – even though this means your dream of living in the big house, with the perfect marriage and the grand children swimming in your glorious pool will be finished.

My lesson from this bed of tomatoes was that for me – giving away my need to be the first consideration in someone else’s decisions about their life – was sometimes the hardest thing for me to give away.

Plain and simple.

So I guess the question for you to ponder today is simply this:

What sort of sharing does your soul need to do to truly learn some new lessons and truly grow?

What do you need to learn to give in order to discover this grow?

For you –  it may be something of material value?

For you – it may be something of a more esoteric nature?

For you – it may be your time?

It may be giving your understanding and empathy for another person’s situation? Or it may be the gift of understanding another person’s needs and letting go of what you need in that same situation.

Only you can answer that question.

But before we go – I would like to take you back to Gary Zukav’s words once more:

“If you give only what is easy to give, you can’t grow. That is like giving away tomatoes when your garden is full of tomatoes. Sharing things that are important, is like giving away tomatoes when you only have a few left – and you love tomatoes.You have to care about people to do that. This is the kind of sharing your soul wants to do.”

 - Gary Zukav – Soul Stories

#DiscoverYou #LoveYou #BeYou

Christine